my fortieth birthday wish

It's finally here.  I'm officially f-o-r-t-y!!! I feel like I'm standing on the edge of a pivitol point in my walk. I've been blessed to reach the "mid-way" mark. How will I make the most of this half of my life? 

 

There will be changes. BIG changes, and I'm not talking about gray hair, bifocals and wrinkles. Will I fight it?  Will I struggle with letting go?  Will I try and live in the past gripping tightly to what was, or will I bravely forge ahead? 

I feel like a decision has to be made. Will my attitude reflect what's in my heart? Will my heart line up with God's plan and purpose for me? I think a milestone makes us reflect and reevaulate and that's where I'm at. You know I'm a thinker...a feeler;) 

 

This is what I know:

I want to put Jesus first.

I want use my time wisely.

I want to serve others.

I want to find my place in the community.

 

I want to use all my gifts and talents for His glory.

I want to strive to be healthy...mind, body and spirit.

I want to teach my girls what they need to know to be successful.

 

I want to really love the people in my life.

I want to be present.

I want to enjoy every moment.

 

More than anything I want to live with purpose. I want to stretch my arms out wide, tilt my face to the sky, and praise the Lord for this amazing life.  It's a gift...one that could end tomorrow. 

Our pastor did a really cool illustration the other day. He had a really long thick rope that he said represented our lives. At one end he had just the tip taped in red. That red little tip represented our life here on earth. The rest of the rope which would go on for eternity represented our life after death.

It's weird to think that this life...the one we put SO much emphasis on is just a teeny part of our forever... It freaks me out actually. Can't really go there, but I do get the illustration.

And I think the reason I struggle with life changes so much is because honestly I'm holding onto that teeeeny tiny red part a little too tightly.
 

I need to stand back and see the bigger picture. 

 

One that stretches out for eternity. 

 

There's something wonderful that happens when instead of dreading the end...we realize it's only the beginning of something far greater than we can comprehend.  That's how I want to hopefully live the next 40 years.  Focused on eternal things.  Using my time here for His purpose. That's my birthday wish.  Use me Lord!! Show me what to spend my time on.  Show me how to be a blessing.  Fulfill your plan with ME!

 

**All pics were taken along the 101 coastline in Northern California.  Muir beach overlook, Stinson Beach, and Point Reyes seashore and lighthouse.  My favorite part of our trip!

Be a blessing.

 

cows grazing next to the pacific
sand between my toes
blue blue water
the smell of ocean and earth
memories made
40 years...thank you Lord!

greater is He

 

Hello sweet friends.  Taking a breather from cuffing to do what I love best, blogging:)  It took me forever and a day to go through these pictures from Yosemite.  And seriously I have enough here to make your eyes roll to the back of your head.  It's okay.  You really don't have to look at all of them.  But it's my blog...SO I MUST POST THEM:))))

As we were driving into the valley I think I yelled STOP THE CAR at an ear piercing decibel.  It was a giant field, with THIS unbelievably amazing backdrop, and I think my heart literally took flight.  Other than standing on the edge of forever watching a sunset in Hawaii...this had to be the most beautiful sight I'd ever seen.

This is going to sound ridiculous, but before going to Yosemite I really had no idea what to expect.  I'd seen those granite mountains in paintings before, but I really didn't know they were an actual place.  I kind of thought they were an artist's depiction of heaven or something.  I know, I'm a nut!  But people it's REAL!  I've seen it with my own eyes. That background isn't photoshopped in.  If only I could add sound effects, so you could hear what the whole park SOUNDED like. The constant pounding of a distant majestic waterfall.  It was incredible!!

We saw several coyotes.  They were super tame and when we slowed down to snap pictures this one walked right up to the car:o

We saw lots of deer and a bobcat I think, but what we really were praying to see were BEARS!!!!!!  I mean really.  We went all the way to bear country.  Bought a whistle and everything and no bears!  There were warning signs everywhere and nada.  It was tragic.  That really would have spiced up the week;)

On one very chilly snow spittin' day we just didn't have the grit to hike, so we glamped a bit and had a fancy lunch at one of the lodges.  I got trout.  I felt very adult and sophisticated.  We shared gelato, again fancy;) It was a nice departure from cooking at the house. 

I love these pics by the way.  My little chick made her bestie Bree in sticky form.  My honey is stressing over the menu.  Can you see the concentrated effort he's making to find something he not only likes, but can afford lol;)??  Oh goodness.  The pictures really bring it all back.  All that's missing is the click, click, click of me taking pictures non-stop:)

And yes...we made it to those Sequoia trees.  The ones I've been dreaming about since I was little chick's age.  They really do exist. 

 

If I close my eyes I'm there.  I can smell the trees.  I can feel the chill.  I can still remember the burn in my legs from walking and walking and walking.  The little thrill in my spirit from the adventure we were on...the memories we were making.  Oh to bottle all that up!

 

One of my favorite days EVER!

So you know I can't just talk about Yosemite...as amazing as all that was.  That's been several weeks ago and life has been happening. 

 

I had a phone call with a friend recently and she noted something in my voice.  She nailed it actually.  She said she could hear despair!  Yikes!!  I was telling her about my week.  The one where our neighbors moved.  I was telling her about feeling lonely and wishing for some things to change.  Just life stuff.  And she said that despair wasn't from the Lord...that it was the enemy and that I needed to take authority over it.  She took the time to say a prayer over me.  She gave me some praise songs to listen to, and she told me about the Jesus Culture station on Pandora...which I love (and listen to while I'm cuffing).  She left me feeling lighter and less burdened.  I know some things were broken off me right then.

I know about spiritual warfare.  I know we don't fight against flesh and blood, but against principalities and the enemy (Eph 6:12).  I know that greater is HE that is in me, than he that is in the world (1 John 4:4).  I know that satan is out to steal, kill and destroy (John 10:10).  I know all that, but I had seriously just forgotten.  I was thinking it was just the ups and downs of life etc...  But really I had allowed a stronghold to develop.  I'm not kidding you, once she brought the spotlight out and exposed it for what it was and we prayed...immediately it WAS GONE!  I instantly felt 10 pounds lighter.  And I haven't been obsessing.  I haven't felt weepy.  The chains just broke off.  Praise God!

 

 

I don't know why I stumble around in life sometimes, struggling or worrying, when I HAVE the authority in Jesus name to change it.  That mean old devil is out to make our lives miserable, and we don't have to let him!  Seriously people...if you've been going around and around that same mountain and you have been feeling SO HEAVY and SO LOW...put on some praise music.  Call a friend and pray.  Take authority over the enemy!!  Stand on the word and HIS promises.  We are the victors.  Don't stay shackled because you forget who we are fighting against.  It's time to declare war!

 

 

 

Be a blessing.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

the sound of water falling

pine cones as big as my head

walking through giant trees

singing praise songs in the forest

bears and mountain lions that hid from us;)

a GOD that delivers!

friends that speak truth and pray

 

 

 

OPEN for business:)

Note to self...next time you plan on traveling for most of the month make sure to have your work done BEFORE you leave.  Girls I've been scrambling.  Like really really scrambling to get my shop up and ready.  But I got it done!  I DID!!!  I'm so proud of myself;)


Farmgirl Paints Etsy is officially open for business.  Let's see we've got Mother's day at our heels.  Graduation is coming up, teacher appreciation, and Father's day.  These make the perfect gift.

Oh and I even got those luggage/camera/backpack/lunch ID tags listed!  It's a miracle.  See another miracle:)  I'm writing this Tuesday night.  The night before I open, and I have to admit I have some butterflies.  March was so crazy insane busy.  I have no idea what to expect this time around.  Will my shop continue to thrive?  Will it slow down?  I've already made the decision to take off July and August to be with the girls.  It's kind of scary...this blind trust.  But that's where I'm at constantly.  One blindfolded step at a time.

My friends Megan and Tara are offering discount codes for my shop on their blogs. 

You don't want to miss out on that:)

Be a blessing.

 

friends that know just what to say...just what to pray

hands that are strong and capable to work hard
the best belt picker in the world...erin

meeting deadlines

candlelight that smells of mango

Hawaiian music