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Thursday, August 28, 2014

what i want my girls to know about marriage...

Right as I'm falling asleep at night the perfect words come for my posts.  I close my eyes tight, too groggy to get up and write them down, and pray that they'll still be there in the morning.  Doesn't happen. They usually vanish.  So this is me trying to remember what was on my heart right before sleep came for me.

First of all I cannot believe summer is over or that we managed to squeeze in all these trips.  Let me assure you when we booked our Hawaii trip we had no idea that two very special family weddings were on the horizon, in two different distant cities, exactly one week apart.  Feeling majorly blessed it worked out that we could attend them both.

They were so anxiously anticipated.  One was our sweet young niece Brittany (in Colorado Springs) and her honey Justin of six years...they started dating at 15!  Oh young love...that one struck a cord;)  And then there was my nephew Derek (in Central Illinois)...who I've had on my prayer list for years to find a good women and settle down. God is good!  And He definitely hears and answers prayer.

 For us this was much more than a chance to be a part of a new covenant...a fun ceremony.  It was our girls very first wedding and it was teachable moment after teachable moment.  Emotions were high. There were mountain top experiences, and glimpses of a dark valley.  Life is like that...the good all jumbled together with the bad.  And sometimes the boundaries are so very blurry, but in the midst of it all God is there and you see His hand, and let's just say we were right where we were supposed to be.

Even the girls...  It's necessary for them to see the messy.  We cannot protect our children from pain. We want to, but life isn't always sunshine, cheesy Disney shows, unicorns and rainbows.  When we witness hurt and brokenness we can teach compassion, tenderness, and God's beautiful restoration and healing.  It's a tangible reminder that we need to pray daily, encourage and strengthen each other with LOVE!  That's what this big story is all about.  Love!

So what do I want my girls to know about marriage...
Who you marry is the number one most important decision you'll ever make outside of your faith walk.
He needs to love the Lord...with all his heart!
It's never too early to start praying for your future spouse.  
Sexual intimacy is worth the wait.


When the years pass on and the honeymoon phase is over... it can get even better.
Sex is important. Don't deny your husband.  It brings you closer together.
Keep your mouth shut when you get tired, hungry, cold, hot, hormonal etc... Words are weapons.
Fight for and remember often what brought you together in the first place.
Pray together.

 Marriage is beautiful, and sometimes hard, but so worth the work.
It takes two to make it good or bad.
Not talking at dinner doesn't mean you don't still have love...
Mundane happens. 
Go on regular date nights.
Remember to have fun and laugh.

Satan will try to attack you.  He will come at you from all sides and you can't let him steal, kill or destroy your family.  Take it back!
God at the center will keep everything in focus.  With Christ ALL things are possible!
Honor your husband as head of the household.

Don't compare!
Remember everyone has struggles.
You don't have to be perfect, but don't expect it either.  Extend forgiveness. 
Choose to focus on the good. 
Cling to each other and be careful what you tell your family and friends.  They will have a harder time forgiving and forgetting.
Set healthy boundaries with your momma.  
Your family comes first.  
This is your mission field.  This is your ministry.

 Always kiss and make up!  

Congrats to our newest family members.  
May God richly bless you in the days, months and years to come:))

Please feel free to share any marriage advice with us... 

Be a blessing.

remembering this feeling!
 reunion with one of my oldest and dearest friends, natalie and big chick's first playmate...maddie:)
a rare photo op of my immediate peeps
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