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Thursday, May 16, 2013

my fortieth birthday wish

It's finally here.  I'm officially f-o-r-t-y!!! I feel like I'm standing on the edge of a pivitol point in my walk. I've been blessed to reach the "mid-way" mark. How will I make the most of this half of my life? 


There will be changes. BIG changes, and I'm not talking about gray hair, bifocals and wrinkles. Will I fight it?  Will I struggle with letting go?  Will I try and live in the past gripping tightly to what was, or will I bravely forge ahead? 

I feel like a decision has to be made. Will my attitude reflect what's in my heart? Will my heart line up with God's plan and purpose for me? I think a milestone makes us reflect and reevaulate and that's where I'm at. You know I'm a thinker...a feeler;) 


This is what I know:

I want to put Jesus first.
I want use my time wisely.
I want to serve others.
I want to find my place in the community.


I want to use all my gifts and talents for His glory.
I want to strive to be healthy...mind, body and spirit.
I want to teach my girls what they need to know to be successful.

I want to really love the people in my life.
I want to be present.
I want to enjoy every moment.

More than anything I want to live with purpose. I want to stretch my arms out wide, tilt my face to the sky, and praise the Lord for this amazing life.  It's a that could end tomorrow. 

Our pastor did a really cool illustration the other day. He had a really long thick rope that he said represented our lives. At one end he had just the tip taped in red. That red little tip represented our life here on earth. The rest of the rope which would go on for eternity represented our life after death.

It's weird to think that this life...the one we put SO much emphasis on is just a teeny part of our forever... It freaks me out actually. Can't really go there, but I do get the illustration.

And I think the reason I struggle with life changes so much is because honestly I'm holding onto that teeeeny tiny red part a little too tightly.
I need to stand back and see the bigger picture. 

One that stretches out for eternity. 
There's something wonderful that happens when instead of dreading the end...we realize it's only the beginning of something far greater than we can comprehend.  That's how I want to hopefully live the next 40 years.  Focused on eternal things.  Using my time here for His purpose. That's my birthday wish.  Use me Lord!! Show me what to spend my time on.  Show me how to be a blessing.  Fulfill your plan with ME!


**All pics were taken along the 101 coastline in Northern California.  Muir beach overlook, Stinson Beach, and Point Reyes seashore and lighthouse.  My favorite part of our trip!

Be a blessing.

cows grazing next to the pacific
sand between my toes
blue blue water
the smell of ocean and earth
memories made
40 years...thank you Lord!
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