Monday, January 27, 2014


Okay so I had a brief moment of insanity over the weekend.  I started another Instagram account called farmgirlfitness.  I'm having shallow breathing over it this morning.  I posted a picture of my belly...  Which everyone thought looked great by the way;)  I said it was my weight watchers.  Seriously I've done lost my mind;)

Here's the deal.  When you are close to your goal weight no one gets it.  "You look great!  You're being too hard on yourself.  Just love the way you are."  Hello people.  Taking care of yourself is love.  The only reason I'm "skinny fat" right now is because I haven't completely decided to throw in the towel.

Trust me watching my weight is a constant thing in my life.  I'll be good for a bit, go on a trip, have company, my shop will open, hormones hit etc... and I'm off the wagon.  I go straight to the bottom of my priority list and run on complete survival mode.  If it wasn't for the times I started focusing back in I'd have a big problem and I just don't want to go there. I watch Biggest Loser.  I cry right along with all those contestants.  That fight and determination is inspirational and I could feel it draining from me.

I'm forty now.  I seriously have tried every diet out there.  I only have 10-15 pounds to lose.  That's completely doable right?  Well it's majorly hard because when I look in the mirror I'm not completely disgusted.  My clothes still mostly fit.  And when I'm not naked I look pretty good.  My face isn't too bad in pics.  So where's the motivation?  It's in my memory...  I remember what that last 10 pounds felt like. And I'm not being unreasonable here.  I don't want to be supermodel perfect. I just know my skin and how it feels to be in the right spot.

It's a new year. I kept waiting to get excited about trying again.  But this time I could feel myself throwing in the towel.  I just didn't care.  I was telling myself that I'm older.  It's impossible.  You have to work twice as hard.  And I just didn't WANT to.  What's the point...blah!   You've done it all before.  And I have. Trust me.  It will work a smidgen and then the second I let down my guard it comes back.  It has to be something other than a diet and a crazy workout routine, because I know myself and I will NOT be successful.  I just won't.

I'm a firm believer that as long as you are focused and consistent in making healthy choices you will see results.  My problem has always been a lack of consistency.  So I've started this new IG page to have accountability.  I'm going to document myself make healthy choices.  I hope having an audience will motivate me to move in some way every day.  I'll post other peoples recipes, workouts, before and after pics as well.  Anything to keep my eye on not throwing in the towel.  And after I reach my goal I'll keep it up to stay motivated (to keep that switch flipped) continue cheering others on:)

Are you with me?  
Do you need a little accountability??
Join in. 
Share your story.  
Let's move and make healthy choices together.  

Be a blessing.

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