she was an artist and her life was her canvas

For those of you that have followed along and watched things unfold over the last few years...you know I didn't set out to have a full time business.  I started painting and dabbling in cuff making a few years ago as a hobby. Since then a complete whirlwind has happened, and this once little side thing is MORE than a full time thing.  There's a lot of guilt that comes from being busy.  Too busy.  

There's a lot of shuffling of priorities.  There are weeks without real dinners and weeks without working out.  There are weeks where I don't leave my house, and when walking to the mailbox feels like a glorious fieldtrip.  And in all that time there are weeks filled with birthday's, homecomings and exciting new mommy/daughter talks about firsts.  There's the changing of seasons, a husband that needs attention, there are deadlines, people to manage, and orders to fill. It's a lot, and it's more than I ever bargained for.  It truly is, and yet God knew.  He knew this was my destiny.  This was the path.  And He's made it clear that every step of the way He will bridge any gaps.  He provides the need...before I fall flat.  

My little chick turned 12!

My big chick went to homecoming with a BOY:0!!  

Years ago I went to a flea market show and saw this pendant at a crafter's booth. It immediately made me well up. I was in the throes of young motherhood. Life was a mix of mundane and routine. I had so many things brewing in my spirit, things I wanted to do...hoped would happen, but I was in a quiet season. These words, she was an artist and her life was her canvas, made it beautifully clear. I didn't have to be "creating" something every day to be an artist. God had given me the purest form of self expression through my daily walk...living in the ordinary. 

Even now in the season of hustle, we are all growing and stretching together, and I still feel like I was made for more...that something else is coming.  That this is another holding pattern and He will bring me to that next place when the time is right.  It's a beautiful thing to just know that He's got you...and in the middle you have to remember to "paint"...and splash color and be the "artist" of your life.  Because those strokes of love, grace, mercy and JOY are the real masterpiece.

Be a blessing,

just because flowers

living through the first behind the wheel with my oldest

a teenager with a burden for the lost

my youngest who is becoming a young woman

parents who are still alive

a thriving business that i know is from Him

a day to paint

a day to blog

that my big girl camera still works

grace upon grace

prickly

I'm about ten steps behind as of late.  Oh the joys of the holidays:)  About two hours after I mailed out the last of the Etsy palooza orders my parents arrived.  Whew!  What would have been perfect...if perfect was ever possible...would have been about a week or two of gathering my wits.  Maybe a day to sleep in, a hot bath, a much overdue workout or two...a salad!  But it didn't go down like that.  Timing is everything.  It really is a true statement.  But despite me we had fun.  We tromped through every antique store in a 30 mile radius.  We decorated the house and made a Thanksgiving feast.  Honey and I did Black Thursday, and Mom and I hit Black Friday.  She even helped me wrap each and every gift.  Feeling blessed to be pretty caught up.

Speaking of Black Friday and Thanksgiving I was feeling a little blue this year.  Tradition is a funny thing.  For the last three years we've spent Thanksgiving with some dear friends.  They moved back up North recently ending our little "turkey run":/  Even though this year was wonderful the memories of previous years made a little pit form in my stomach.  I love change, crave it actually, but lately I find myself mourning loss.

So back to tradition.  These pics are a few weeks old.  The girls had a day off from school recently, and it's our thing to go to this one trail and take pretty pics.  We've done it the past three years in a row. Honey is always working, so it's just me and my girlies.  Pictures are always better outside.  Why don't I ever go outside!??  I miss my big girl camera.  I hardly ever pick it up anymore.

On our walk I found this prickly thing on the ground and couldn't help but feel a connection with it.  I kinda feel prickly lately.  I think burnout is to blame.  The lack of time for basic self care.  You've heard the saying all work and no play...  I have this burning desire to find time for FUN!  So I'm cultivating a plan for play.  I'm getting out a pen and paper and scheduling it in.  Yes pen and paper.  A list has to be made you know.  It's not going to just happen on it's own;)

1. Learn something new (this is coming)
2. Relearn something old (I signed up for The Beautiful Mess online camera course)
3. Take care of yourself (I joined our Hot House Yoga studio)
4. Read a book...any suggestions??

While my folks were here we got the call that my dad's brother David passed away.  He had a massive heart attack and died while tending to his herd of buffalo down in Tennessee.  So sudden.  So unexpected.  This of course riled up all kinds of emotion.  What do I want to be doing if I died right this second?  OR if I had time how would I like to spend my last days on Earth??

Life is so short.  We don't know the plan.  Thank heavens for that.  Seriously if I had a visible expiration date I'd probably go sit in a corner frozen with the pressure to make every last second matter.  But what does matter?  I definitely wouldn't go buy anything.  I'd give away everything I owned to all the people I love.  I'd scoop them up and go to every place I've ever dreamed of.  I'd make a million and one memories.  I'd write out how I feel...what I believe.  I'd have those heart to hearts.  It would be intense.  It would be deep.  It would be pretty exhausting.  Maybe just maybe instead of going full throttle I could try living this way a little bit at a time, every day...just because it's obviously the right thing to do;)

Be a blessing.

thanksfuls...

 taking mom and dad to the cinebistro...  love their enthusiasm for the littlest of things;)

 tobymac concert with our besties

 sweat city! yoga in a very hot room is hard y'all

done and beautiful:)

the hard...raising a teenager

This parenting thing isn't for the faint of heart.  I posted recently on IG that growing up was hard on both the kid AND the parents.  Our experience so far has been an emotional roller coaster.  We moved here three and half years ago just as our oldest was starting junior high.  We thought it was our last chance to do a move...any older and it would just be so HARD!  Guess what?  It's still been hard.  It probably would have been even if we stayed in Minnesota, but yikes if it isn't a constant struggle.

And here's the hard... it's not what you think when you think teenager.  There isn't a rebellion issue.  We don't worry about sexual promiscuity or addiction problems...thank GOD.  I have friends who have had these impossibly difficult issues and it's no joke.  My heart would break in a million pieces, but this "hard" is still HARD!  And it still hurts my momma's heart.

The struggle here is being known.  Having that one person that truly knows and loves you unconditionally.  It's fitting in.  It's finding like minds...beliefs.  It's being labeled quiet, shy, or worse yet being viewed as stuck up because you don't have anything to add to a conversation...because maybe you don't listen to the same music, go to the same movies or know the inside jokes.  It's having unique talents and abilities and feeling uncomfortable when they are brought up.  Like you should downplay who you really are...and who you really are is pretty darn amazing!!!

It's putting on a smile or laughing when you don't really feel it.  

It's feeling invisible.  

I remember this. I felt a little odd man out at times in school.  But I went to a small school and we all knew each other.  I graduated with 40.  There are over 2,000 kids in her high school.  Such a different world.  

It's navigating through the very murky waters of finding and being yourself and waiting patiently for your soul to be seen.  Ugh!  I think it's something we can all relate to.  I know it really doesn't get any easier as an adult.  Building community is always high on my list...yet it's so slow going.

So we pray, we console and we remind her and ourselves that He has a plan.  We are in the palm of His hand and He knows our innermost desires.  He loves us.  He is our Abba daddy and wants those things for us too.  His timing is perfect.  It is!!  But darn if the process isn't painful.

Be a blessing.

Speaking of someone pretty darn special...my little chick celebrated 11 years!!! She wanted, of all things, an electric pencil sharpener.  Guess who got the fanciest one I could find:)  Big chick topped it though..."she's never drawn me before". Tears!!

the pull...

 

I've been emotional lately.  I know I'm emotional all the time, but this is new territory.  My big chick is changing, maturing, and it's stirring some stuff up inside me.  It started me thinking about when the girls were first born.  I remember thinking that once they slept through the night we'd be home free.  Then once they finally got through teething, potty training, eating solid foods etc...it would get so much easier. Obviously one challenge runs right into the next and we never really feel like we've got it figured out.  We never really get that reprieve and a big gold star to put next to our names on the imaginary parenting "chore" chart.

We are moving into the independence stage...the pulling away stage:0  The scariest of all.  Our girl goes to high school next year.  CANNOT BELIEVE THAT, but I digress.  She's got a boy interested in her at school!  He ditches his friends to sit with her at lunch.  Say what?!!  It's not serious.  She can't date.  But it's weird. 

They text.  We didn't even have texting when Honey and I dated.  So that's a constant connection that my parents didn't have to monitor or think about.  She asks to do things with friends A LOT.  And I know that's all good and healthy and normal, but it's new for us.  We do things together most of the time.  Boys have never been in the picture at all...ever.  

She's a good girl.  Honestly the sweetest you can imagine.  She has a heart that as a momma makes me beyond proud.  I look at her sometimes and can't believe how blessed I am that God chose honey and I to raise her.  So I'm not worried about HER.  I trust that we've done our job and she knows the truth.  We talk openly about everything under the sun.  It's just scary seeing her move away from us a bit.  It makes me think about the future a little too much.  Where's my paper bag?!?

I'm constantly going through my memory bank remembering how things were when I was growing up.  What did my mom and dad allow?  How did they let me go, let me be a little more independent?  When did I start getting serious about boys?  When did I do this and that...



And for me the memories are there.  They kinda let me do whatever.  I had tons of sleepovers.  A LOT of boy crushes.  Dated way TOO young.  Not that they were bad parents, neglectful or anything they just trusted me more than I think they should have.  They loved me and let me be.  Is it wrong that I love her and I want to keep things the way they've been forever?  I know the answer to that;)

Honey and I share looks a lot.  The "oh my dear God...how are we gonna get through this" kinda glances from across the room. Any alone time we get we are talking it though, remembering our teenage years.  It's just as much of a growing up thing for us as it is for her.

It's definitely a learning experience.  And this pull between wanting to keep her all to ourselves and let her spread her wings will be a little painful for both of us.  But I know the Lord will give us wisdom.  Just like all the other milestones His grace will be there.  His hand will guide us, and in the end that twisty knot in my stomach will subside...maybe when she's 30;)

I also wanted to let you know I did a little talk on joy for this beautiful online workshop.  It's a nine month course on the Fruit of the Spirit.  So good!  Check it out here:)  The video goes live today.  

Be a blessing.

He goes before us...time to paint:)
strawberry shortcake

big ripe berries

warm earth and the most beautiful berry smell

friends that tromp through fields/life with us

having daughters
that she was loaned to US

allofthethings

Worst picture ever award;)

To say it's been a tad busy over here is an understatement.  I think life has bombed our house.  Like it's full on celebration of allofthethings...allofthetime lately.  Can you OD on good?  Cause lately it's been a little off the charts...

First off the May shop opening was a HUGE success...like most cuffs ever sold in the history of ever!  I wept.  Literally overwhelmed by everything I sat on the front porch after everyone left and wept.  It was happy tears.  Tears of joy and relief and complete and utter amazement at God and how HE blows my mind and brings me to that humble spot.  That spot of complete and utter reliance on Him.  I really can't put into words how I'm feeling, but weeping seems to be a part of my every day as of late.  We'll be working hard to get them all stamped and sent out this week hopefully.  Lots to do!

Let's see since I blogged last we had Mother's day.  With full on cards and a day of traipsing around Richmond eating at my favorite Cuban place and sight seeing...those pics to come.  Honey finished off a project which I'll share soon.  It was good.  Like so good I wish everyday was Mother's day:)

This week has been a week of firsts.  Big chick's first dance:) Which she was asked to go with a boy!  That didn't happen because I'm a tad old fashioned and boys and girls have no business going anywhere together in 8th grade...  But apparently they danced.  And it's not like when we were in school and there were two separate groups...boys on one side and girls on the other with no one dancing at all.  They all danced!! Times have changed.  Kids are a little more bold, and honestly it frightens me;)  But she's got this experience under her sleeve and I'm so proud of my girl.  She just radiates from the inside out.  Her inner and outer beauty blind me!

Then there's this one. Could she look any more precious?  Despite a horrible onslaught of seasonal allergies she braved the big stage and did her thing.  First dance recital...CHECK!  She had the BIGGEST smile plastered on her face.  I was so proud of her.  She stuck with ballet even though she begged not to go at times.  The flowers apparently made it worth it:)

So it's been a crazy couple of weeks.  I hope Spring is treating you well.  I'm ready for a break.  Oh I got a hammock for Mother's day too.  It's getting broken in real soon:)

Be a blessing,

 Our super sweet mail carrier Sayid aka "happy" got a raise because of the volume of mail coming from our shop!!!!  Seriously made me SO haPpY!!!

 my 41st birthday! a chocolate cake hunt was on:)  my family loves me well!!

 happy tears!!!  God is SO good:))

these three...who work so hard with me. love them!!!