shine;)

I stumbled upon some ugly words about myself last week.  It was one of those snarky mean girl sites and someone had taken the time to pretty much judge every move I make.  Including that I'm a bad writer.  I try not to focus on stuff like that because no one but my close peeps really know me, but for some reason the bad writer thing stuck (oh I hate that) and has been on replay in my mind occasionally this last week.  It's kinda weird that it was that statement that bothered me, because I know I'm not a technically good writer.  I write just exactly how I would talk. Run on sentences.  Incomplete thoughts.  Lack of focus;)

Blah, blah, blah...  The thing is hurting people lash out and hurt people.  It's easy to throw stones.  It's easy to pick on and put down others, especially in this day and age...all hidden behind our screens.  We've all seen the horrible things that others say on IG to complete strangers.  It blows my mind how people can be so hateful and mean...but then I'm reminded we live in a fallen world.  Not everyone believes the things I do.  Extend grace...ugh!

I started this blog six years ago!  Six!!!  I was cold and dark...literally;)  It was cold up there in Minnesota and I was in a dark place struggling with depression.  And blogging was wonderful.  It helped me focus my time and energy on searching for good.  Looking at my little world and embracing and noticing everything around me.  What a gift:)  I wouldn't trade it for anything.  And the friends I've met!  And the places I've been!!!  I don't think any of it would have been possible without this space...this platform.

And now there's Instagram. Amazing how you think things will stay the same and then all of a sudden it's different.   Somehow I have 20,000 "followers" on IG!  Say WHAT!!  I don't say that to brag.  Honestly I can't believe people would want to tag along and see what little snippets I have to share.  Really it's humbling and weird and if you don't keep the whole thing in perspective it's a mind game.

 I read a quote recently that said: 

"Artists are people driven by the tension between the desire to communicate and the desire to hide". -- DW Winnicott 

YES!  This is how I feel exactly.  There is a constant push and pull feeling in me to share everything and then share nothing...  Because heaven forbid you share something special...something close to your heart and it gets misunderstood or you get judged.  Who has time for that!  Who wants to put their heart out there to get stomped on!  And when you add an element of creativity...well that just ups the anty.  

But despite those feelings I have the strongest conviction that I think life is meant to be shared.  We learn from each other.  We can inspire one another and we can give that little bit of encouragement along the way.  We are not the only ones that feel vulnerable and tired and out of sorts occasionally.  This life thing is no joke.  It's hard at times and to walk with others is a gift...even if it is virtually.  

SO all that to say... SHINE girls!  Don't let the thoughts of anyone deter you from your purpose.  There is only one you!  The world needs to see your gifts and talents.  God has specifically given them to you to SHARE:)  Don't worry about being judged...you will be.  Put on your blinders.  Focus on what's in front of you and live out your calling...whatever that may be:)

Be a blessing.

thankfuls...

 relearn something...

 these girls! i prayed for them and now they are here:)  fgp christmas party!!

 making more room for the shop...eeek!

redder hair:0

our new GATHERING place...the tweaked kitchen

Good morning girlies.  I finally took some pics of our updated kitchen for you.  Let me just tell you this process has been a decision in the works for the last three plus years.  Do we paint the cabinets?  Do we put in a farmhouse sink?  Do we change the countertops etc??

I loved our big space.  The kitchen before was beautiful it just wasn't me.  It was a spec house and it didn't look anything like my dream kitchen.  So I've spent countless hours pinning every white, gray, yellow, turquoise kitchen in America and every tutorial on how to paint kitchen cabinets.  Seriously!  It was intense and torturous.  That's a big decision.  Once it's done, it's done and for someday resale it needed to look good.  Also I had this nagging worry about white cabinets.  Would they get dirty easy?  Would they chip?  Would I regret it?  Nevermind the month of Sundays it would take me to paint them ALL.  It's a BIG kitchen!  So this is what we ended up doing and I couldn't be more pleased.

 (clock from HomeGoods)

I told myself we would change a few things and if it looked good we'd just keep the cabinets.  They weren't me, but they we really pretty and maybe just maybe we wouldn't need to paint them.  Fingers crossed!!!!

So we started with four tweaks...the backsplash, undercounter lighting, new hardware and a stainless steel vented hood. I've ALWAYS loved white subway tile and knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that's what I wanted. But would it look good with the granite??  The counters were too nice and totally unnecessary to change out, so we held our breath and made the leap to go for it.  I wanted the slightly larger tile because I wanted to go ALL the way to the ceiling and the standard size might look busy.  We went with a standard gray grout to tie in to the granite.  The number one goal was to brighten the space!  Mission accomplished!!

(from Lowe's)

 We changed out the hardware from a black knob to a stainless steel to tie in with the other finishes.  Voila a little sparkle and shine:)

We took out our cabinet over the stove and added a vented stainless steel hood, which made a little tear pop out when I saw it for the first time.  Instant modern update!  I couldn't be happier with that one improvement.  And guess what?  It actually is vented to the outside.  Our other vent just recirculated the same air.  I was shocked!  Anyway now we have a heavy duty fan that pulls air out:))

Speaking of a little tear popping out.  We added undercounter lighting.  By "we" I mean we HIRED someone to add it:)  God bless Patrick...our handy dandy electrician!  He is one of our favorite people here.  We've hired him for so many random jobs around the house I feel like he's family.  Anyhoo when I first came in and saw the lighting I was horrified and actually had a teeny tiny hissy fit! You could see the lights from under the cabinets:o  I had no idea there was a trim piece called a "light rail" that needed to be added.  We finally just got that final piece done this week.  That's why these pics have been so slow.  It made a DRASTIC change in the space.  Our once dark and dreary kitchen is now light, bright and sparkly!!!

I did a little chalkboard magic to make the white tile pop and voila!!!  I ADORE our new space.  And the cabinets, instead of bugging me they look warm and cozy.  They also look different than all the pins I found.  And I like being different.  The kitchen is unique to our little family.  It's a space where we can gather.  Where we can meet up first thing and last thing of each day.  It's where we can hopefully reach out and bring others in.  Where we can spread His light and love.  It's not about impressing anyone.  It's not about having everything perfect.  It's about being available, brave and friendly.  Pray with me we can make that leap into being the home that GATHERS!  I want that community here.  It's totally out of my comfort zone, but I know it's what God wants for our family.  Time to be obedient:)

Be a blessing.

sunny days

little friends over for dinner

squash lasagna

breaking in the patio, friends, smores and twinkly lights...blog post to come

having church

Hi friends:)  I get little messages often from long time readers asking me to blog more.  I want to!  I really do... I miss it!  But I'm in a different, busier season in my life, and as much as I long for leisurely days snapping pics and writing my thoughts down this is where God has me right now.  I'm putting one foot in front of the other and doing what I feel He's leading me to do. 

I've noticed that along with busyness comes distraction.  Man I hate being distracted!!  And I'm not a fan of how that plays out in my home.  We all have our own agendas.  Our own schedules and mile long to-do lists.  Each person in our little family unit leads a separate life and it's hard to meld those all together lately.  School started.  Marching band is in full swing.  New friends have been made...that I haven't met:/ There are teachers I haven't heard of.  Honey is focused on building his business and I'm in the throes of the shop's busiest season.  It's wonderful to be busy.  It's good to work and carry on in life, but I have to tell you I miss simple.  I miss connecting.  I miss my people.

Sunday we skipped church!  Yes we played hookie and it WAS good!  Sometimes you need to just be with your family and not in a crowd.  Sometimes you need to step away from chores, home improvement projects, PHONES and just be together.  Not that skipping church is the answer, but this week it was.  We made a huge family breakfast.  We played a board game out on our patio! We went to the mall to find a dress for Big Chick's homecoming.  We spent time together:))

I know there's a balance.  And I'm determined to find it.  These threads that tie us together are only as strong as the time and attention we put into them.  SO I'm making a blanket statement.  It's going to be dramatic.  It's going to be radical!  Are you ready for it??

I'm declaring that every Sunday is going to be Silent Sunday.  

No computer.

  No phone.

  No work.

  No chores.  

We're going to eat together, play together, listen to each other and focus on what's important...each other:)  We'll go to actual church too!  But we'll have church all day.  Those four walls don't define that day!  The family unit is holy.  

 I made this chalkwall in our kitchen recently and I picked gather as the focal word.  This is where we come together.  This is our gathering place. It's not only for us, but for us to hopefully begin reaching out to others.  Slowing down and making time for that is KEY.  I'm praying the shift happens. 

 How do you find balance?  Do you have a time carved out for your family?  I'd love to hear your thoughts and ideas.  I think this is important business.  The enemy is out to take over our families.  I think he uses distraction most of the time.  Our family IS our mission field. 

This gal...Steffany Gretzinger is my FAVORITE singer right now.  This album is FULL and overflowing with goodness.  I just found this video online...click here to listen.  

Soooo beyond anointed.  Have church with me right now.

Be a blessing,

my girls...

glorious fall weather

sod

orders being shipped out!!!

surprising myself...

I've developed a bad habit over the years.  I've unintentionally put myself in a box. I can hear my voice in my head saying, "I hate to cook.  I'm not good at tablescapes.  Entertaining isn't my thing.  I'm just not good at planning.  I am NOT a detail girl".  I think sometimes we label ourselves as a scapegoat, so we don't have to do the things we're uncomfortable with.  But guess what? During Tamara's festival week I did ALL those things and I did them pretty well thank you very much lol:)!!


I'm not talking down to myself anymore. I CAN cook.  I CAN decorate a pretty table.  I'm AN AMAZING hostess!  I can ROCK all the millions of details!!!  I can do all things through Christ Jesus who strengthens me.  I can and I will be who He's called me to be according to His purpose.  It may not be easy. It may make me break out into a sweat, but I can do hard things!

I can't even begin to tell you what a joy it was serving during T's surprise week.  To have our house full of people.  It felt alive.  It felt right and good.  It wasn't the norm and that was a very good thing for us.  We get comfortable. We do things just the four of us 95% of the time.  But we need people.  We need to be available to share His love...His grace in and through us.  Honey and I have since then shared over and over again what a blessing it was FOR US!  How much we loved having a house full of "family".  That's what it felt like.  Makes me teary just reliving it.

I've always been intimidated by entertaining.  The inner fussy "Martha" came out a bit.  It's so much work. You have to meal plan, grocery shop, prepare, time it all out, clean it all up etc...  Excuses excuses...valid excuses, but lazy excuses nonetheless.  Then I read an amazing book and it kind of made me understand myself a bit more. I see God in nature.  I see Him in the sea, in the trees, in the birds flying through the air etc...  I never really understood those that found Him around the table...until now:)

What's becoming clearer and clearer to me is that the most sacred moment, the ones in which I feel God's presence most profoundly, when I feel the goodness of the world most arrestingly, take place at the table.  

The particular alchemy of celebration and food, of connecting people and serving what I've made with my own hands, comes together as more than the sum of their parts.  I love the sounds and smells and textures of life at the table, hands passing bowls and forks clinking against plates and bread being torn and the rhythm and energy of feeding and being fed.  Page 13 of  Bread & Wine

I had a couple of "Bread & Wine" moments that week.  If you haven't read that book you really should.  It's beautifully written about how gathering around the table can bring us together.  Shauna Niequist weaves stories of her life, shares yummy recipes and writes in such a relatable way that I want her to live next door. How cool would that be!  Anyway looking at these sweet people gathered around our table...celebrating another.  It truly was beautiful.

This makes me cry...to watch this video Big Chick took...click here.

Our only focus was to love.  To lift up and embrace one another.  That's what gathering together should be about.  That's what WE should be about.  Full circle indeed!

**Tamara and I are leaving today for HOPE SPOKEN in Dallas, TX...and guess who the keynote speaker is going to be?  Author of Bread & Wine herself...Shauna Niequist.  So very excited to hear her speak and to hug so many of you:)  It's going to be goooood!  Follow along on IG if you want to see the whole thing unfold...@farmgirlpaints.

**Oh and on my last post I told you about John and Sherry Petersik crashing our house??  Well it's up already!!!  Read about it here.  They are lightning fast:))

Be a blessing. 

Back row...Susan, Debbie, Sherry, Mary, 

Middle row...Christy, Tamara, Kelly C, Kelly P and me;)

big beautiful smiles

one last house painting...

gifts being shared...mary's gorgeous chalkart.

mutual cuff love;)