I think a lot about fear. Maybe because lately I'm faced with it on a day to day basis. It occured to me as I was driving the other day that I've crossed a milestone with living here. When we first got here every time I got in the car to drive somewhere I was terrified. The roads are extremely narrow with no shoulders. They curve and dip and leave your stomach in knots. I would even get a little car sick. Every time a person would pass me I would raise up my shoulders, squint my eyes and let out a little EEEEEK! Because it looked like they were going to hit me for sure.
It dawned on me as I was whizzing through the trees on my very own roller coaster/race track home the other day, that I'm passed that particular fear. YIPPEEE!!!! For the most part I don't shriek anymore. My heart doesn't race every time I pull out onto that road, and the only thing I can think of that got me over that fear was that I HAD NO CHOICE, but to do it every.single.day. There is no other route. No other option. Sometimes you just have to do it afraid. Uh and pleading with God to help me might have had a little part in it too;)
Fast forward to last night where my friend Maureen dragged me into another adventure. Well she didn't really have to drag me I was jumping at the bit to go;) She has an amazing group of friends and we've set up a craft group called f.e.a.t. (friends exploring art together). Once a month we are going to meet and share a fun craft/skill with each other. Isn't that like the best idea ever!!!
Maureen. Isn't she beautiful?? Love the mummified look she had going on! Creepy:)
Taking the mask off was a bit tricky. You had to pull it really slow, because it suctions to your face a little bit and it stings slightly. I'm thinking we all just got a great spa exfoliation treatment for free;)
Okay so my turn came around. Never thought I'd show myself in a shower cap and Vaseline on here...but there's always a first time for everything;)
About halfway in something kind of snapped to attention in me and I hit a panic wall. It was like oh yeah I'm supposed to be afraid...cue heart racing NOW. I'm a little claustrophobic. I don't like airplanes or tight spaces...forget about going under water, but I thought I might be able to do this. Unfortunately the fear just reared up it's ugly head.
I wanted more than anything to just rip that thing OFF MY FACE!!!!! Get it OFF. I got up. Took some deep breaths. Kept reminding myself that I could breath and had my Nan finish me. That's the thing with fear. Most of the time it's irrational. Will that spider hurt you? Will talking in front of people be the worst thing that could happen? Actually that's another biggie for me. That's why I hide behind a computer;)
Not sure if Nan was trying to distract me or what but pretty soon she started telling a story that made me want to laugh so hard, but I couldn't. I would retell it, but it's completely inappropriate for my sweet little blog here.
The reward for not ripping of the mask is that I get a cool visual of overcoming that panic attack. I did something afraid. Oh yeah and I moved to Virginia. I drive on that death trap of a road everyday. I make stuff. I write stuff, and present it to you. And day in and day out I'm reminded that it's alright to go for your dreams. It's alright to be afraid. It's just a reminder that you are living and breathing and human after all. Just don't let it stop you.
Have a blessed weekend.
242. thank God it's FRIDAY
243. meeting new creative women
244. overcoming fear
245. finding someone to teach me Lightroom
246. my new "where women create" magazine...inspiration overload
