Wednesday, November 2, 2011

buried alive

I've been staring at the computer now for a few minutes wondering what to to express myself.  I have so many thoughts swirling around in my mind.  One of which is I WISH I HAD IT ALL TOGETHER!  That seems to be a running theme with me lately.  I know I've just made a big move.  I know I have a right to feel tired.  I know it takes time to find your groove again, but geesh when is that going to happen?? 

Do you ever read blogs and feel small?  Do you ever think to yourself how in the world do they have time to ____________,_________________,___________???!!!  You fill in the blank.  We all have the same hours in a day, but how in the world do they get done what they get done?  I've been feeling that way lately.  Wondering why I don't accomplish more in a day.  Am I supposed to be in a period of rest?  I don't want to rest.  I want to be successful, and in my mind that means moving toward something...having a plan and a purpose.  It's waking up in the morning excited to face the day and doing what I've been called to do...whatever that may be. 

I have a buried dream. Not sure if I've ever told you this before, but my BIG dream is to illustrate a children's book.  I think my art would lend itself well to that avenue.  I have a theme in mind...a story.  I have each page painted in my mind.  I read other books, look at the illustrations and I think to myself I could do that. I SHOULD DO THAT!!!  For me it's the details that overwhelm me.  It's the getting it from my mind to the printer, to holding it in my's the inbetween steps that cripples me.  So I do nothing.  My dream lies in wait.  I say I want it.  I feel myself get excited thinking about the possibilities, but the follow through...the know how...keeps me from actually accomplishing it.

So maybe that's why I'm in a period of rest or exhaustion;)  Maybe God is preparing me for something that I've been dreaming of.  Maybe the ground work is being laid and the supports are being built and soon the pieces will start to be put in place. I certainly hope so.  I pray so.  Cause this girl has a dream, and she's too tired to figure it all out:)    Do you have a dream??

Have a blessed day.

200.  sun filtering through the trees.
201.  devotionals that pierce my heart.
202.  the twinkle lights in my studio.
203.  the hope of a dream seed coming through.
204.  chilly mornings...warm afternoons

205.  making new memories in a foreign land;)

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