I have to be honest. After the high of Brave Girl Camp I struggled a few days last week trying to get back into life. I felt like I was moving in molasses. My inspiration was gone. I had no energy. I had a million things to do and didn't want to do any of them. I was sad. My blogging friend Bevy warned me that a valley could happen and at the time I wasn't there yet, but it came and it stayed for a little while.
So glad that the clouds have lifted a bit. I feel better today... thank you Lord! As I prepare for this week I have goals and self-imposed deadlines. Some are as simple as give the dog a bath, or do my homework for my Esther bible study. Others are more complex like make an art "masterpiece" with all the inspiration and knowledge I learned at camp. It's the latter that causes me to freeze up. I have issues with getting started...especially when I don't know what I'm doing. My honey does too. Today he starts his new job! But with this new job comes a new set of demands, stresses and pressures that he didn't have with the old. We are the same in the fact that we fear failure. That is what holds me back with my art. I want it to be perfect and in that quest for perfection I get frozen. I get stuck. I guess if I don't start I can't screw it up...
Well I'm tired of being afraid, holding back. If I learned nothing else at camp it was to spread my wings and soar. Even my bird holds that message for me in it's cute little beak. So how do I do it...jump from that ledge?? I think maybe realizing that what I have to offer is enough. I am enough. I don't have to be like this person or that. God has given me gifts and talents and they are as individual and specific to me as my fingerprints. So I have decided to do it afraid and "fake it 'til I make it." Really what do I have to lose:)
Have a blessed day.
All images can be found on
Good Morning Becky! I am so glad for your "bare it all" honesty. I love it. This is one area your strength is made perfect in your weakness. (a thought from our sermon at church yesterday)
ReplyDeleteYou're right for yourself in, "it's enough". I can be this way too and really need to remember - enough is enough, or I'll make myself "crazy".
Phil. 4:13 and the song "In Christ Alone" are my two bedrocks to know that it is ONLY through HIM that I can do, be or continue...
My "identity" is hid in him. Or, at least it needs to be.
I'll certainly be thinking and praying for you today, Becky. ((hugs))
one day at a time....make it a great one!
ReplyDeleteBecky,
ReplyDeleteYou are such an inspiration! Hope that things even out for you and you use your wings! Have a wonderful day and week. Jennifer
Hang in there girly, and spread those wings and SOAR!!!!
ReplyDeleteHonest to goodness girl...You don't have to be perfect, in fact you NEVER will be in this life time. You are enough each and every day (see my post of about a week ago on that) we just take one step after the other. You know how to eat an elephant, so to speak?..one bite at a time will do it!
ReplyDeleteGood luck to your husband an the new job and with you and each and every day, days are filled with big and small things, it doesn't matter how much we accomplish each day. Sometimes the slow days are just what we need. And who says you have to ever paint a master piece! Just live and enjoy and the inspiration will come on it's own.
Sorry to give too much advise...who am I...just a friend, wishing a beautiful, talented gal happiness and joy in the journey.
Come say hi :D
To fresh starts! I share your fear of failure and I agree - what a waste of time! Thanks for the kick in the booty. :)
ReplyDeleteHi Becky! I've been reading your posts about BGC. It all sounds so amazing and inspiring. What a fantastic opportunity you had to be a part of it all. Yes, that fear of failure strikes all of us. But we can't get beyond it unless we conquer it. And that feeling you get when you eventually conquer it is priceless. Accomplishment is a very powerful thing.
ReplyDeleteDon't make yourself crazy...we are our worst enemies. Spread your wings and fly, fly, fly!! :)
Becky.... first of all, congrats to your honey on his first day of work at his new job. It is always exciting and frightening at the same time. In my experience it takes about two weeks to feel comfortable. Give him his mental space for those two weeks. He will have a lot on his mind. Then another two weeks to have the job down pat. He has been blessed to find work in this economy, which you know.
ReplyDelete~ I am sorry you had to come down from the beauiful high you were on from your trip. You will find a place to put all you learned ~ once things level out, which it sounds like that is starting to happen now. I MUST say you chose some GORGEOUS images to post today!!
One day at a time ~ one chore at a time ~ one ~ inspiration at a time ~ one foot in front of the other ~ that's how we move forward. xo
Take care ~ sweet one!!! xo
Whenever I was scared of something, holding back...my Dad would say to me "fake it 'til you make it"! I'm not sure I've quite mastered that, but I try:) And that's all any one of us can really do. Try our best and know that {as you so eloquently put it} it is enough:)
ReplyDeleteP.S. Best wishes to your hubby & his new job!
This post totally makes me think of so many ways to encourage you...(for I have been in your shoes before)
ReplyDelete1 corinthians 12 (one body, many parts). Read it and be encouraged! Your special gifting have something to offer the body as a whole - something no one else has to share. Rejoice in the gifts God created in you to be to the entire body - they are your 'super powers.' ;)
Do not be afraid, do not worry...
"Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God;
and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus."
Philippians 4:6,7
Tap into the power and PRAY when you feel anxious or fearful:
" for God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control." 2 Tim 1:7
Can't wait to see what you'll create. Go get 'em!
Dear, darling Becky....
ReplyDeleteIt's strange to say...but everything you just explained actually means huge progress is happening in your life. When we get comfortable, things seem really easy...and we kinda trick ourselves into thinking that we are making progress or that everything is good how it is....when we decide that we want not just what is GOOD...but what is BETTER and what is BEST for us and our families........it gets uncomfortable...change IS uncomfortable, scary...terrifying.........something i didn't tell you at BGC is how scared I am almost EVERY SINGLE DAY....it is the biggest thing I have to overcome...EVERY DAY. I make things up in my head....and then I fear them......but, to get to where we are supposed to go...where we belong...we have to look the fear in the face and do it anyway....and then the peace comes.....
Just know.....that you are not alone....change and progress and leaps of faith are scary....and fear causes the blues.....and making changes means grieving the parts of ourselves and the parts our lives that we have to let go of to see the birth of the new things waiting for us....it's like a death...and so you go through a little grief process....and then the doors open......and the peace comes, and the joy.....
I love you.....really...I really really really love you....and I am so thankful to have you in my life. xoxox <3
melody
I love how honest you are.
ReplyDeleteLife is about living it one day at a time...some days are great..some not so.
Here is to another fresh start of a new week.
xo
hey girlie...i can relate to your heart today, i really can.
ReplyDeleteyou are such a giver & such an inspiration.
what a praise thathubby starts new & fresh today too
blessings to you becky
xo
fake it til you make it has been my mantra for months! ANd you know what? It WorKS!! It helps to change your attitude! Your art is not supposed to be perfect! It's supposed to be uniquely you, uniquely Becky! And we will LOVE it because we LOVE you! I can't wait to see what you creatE!
ReplyDeleteI'm right there with ya. That fear of not being good enough or the fear of the unknown. You can't mess it up if you don't start it. I'm in need of breaking free from those chains that bind. He is made perfect in our weakness. That is going to be my motto for this week.
ReplyDeleteBlessings,
Nora
You took my words and feelings and put them on your blog! I am dealing with the same issue! Not only have I not brushed a single stroke on my biggest canvas yet since painting the sunset and grass. But, I have 4 other orders I MUST start on. I am just feeling a bit like you wrote...let's get back on track Becky! They will be terrific. We just gotta get started!
ReplyDeleteOh my Becky, I relate so well to you. I know exactly how you feel because I've been there and done that in the procrastination arena, all because of Fear. You are not alone. As a matter of fact, I think you would be surprised at how many of us out here have let Fear freeze us in place. Thankfully, we can encourage one another to get unstuck when needed!
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, I want to say again, thank you for your realness and honesty in your post. You are one very special lady, and you are giving to others just by being the sooo special YOU in what you write for us and share with us. You have something to say that is helping others and in turn you have something to say with your art and creativity that is going to help others too. Perfectionism is just a myth anyway. The not so perfect things are much more interesting, unique and beautiful, if you ask me. That's what makes them special.
Maybe you've already read this book, but if you haven't you've got to find it. "The Creative Call" (An Artist Response to the Way of the Spirit) by Janice Elsheimer .... It's a wonderful book for artists of all kinds and has some assignments inside to help you get unstuck. Here is a quote from Oswald Chambers that she has inside.
"When God sends His inspiration, it comes to us with such miraculous power that we are able to "arise from the dead" and do the impossible. The remarkable thing about spiritual initiative is that the life and power comes AFTER we "GET UP AND GET GOING."
God does not give us overcoming life - He gives us life as we overcome."
I'm still learning that I can EDIT LATER and that is okay. But I must first begin.
Sorry for being so wordy. I guess you touched on a cord inside of me that reminded me also to get to the business of getting unstuck myself.
Let's get up and get going together,
Lee ANn
Sweet Becky! I know how you feel...but I also know what a special gift you have!- and don't "think" about it too much- just "do" it!- the joy will follow! Promise! :)
ReplyDeleteHave a great day!
Blessings!
Jill
Oh, we are so on the same page right now! I had to laugh when I read "fake it 'til you make it" because my son said that in children's church this Sunday about being obedient! It was so cute, but it's true...sometimes we are scared or maybe just can't get ourselves to do something and that little saying works! I do it all the time! I think it's not so much that we are faking it, but that we feel like, "Lord, I am not sure I can do it or even want to do it", but we step out in faith and then we DO make it because HE gives you the strength to. Yay! I prayed for your family this morning and about your hubby's job. I had no idea he started today! That was Spirit led! Your art will be beautiful, just jump in a do it, girl!
ReplyDeleteHave a wonderful day!
Adrienne
It's not always what you have to offer but how you offer what you have to the world, ya know? I think you are fantastic and so talented:) God really gave you a special gift and a creative eye.
ReplyDeleteGood luck to your husband with his new job!
Yeaaay!
ReplyDelete::Booty Shakin' dance::
Go, Brave Birl, Go!!
Just start- right? It may take a while to warm up and your first attempt may be garbage. So what? You're that much farther (further??) along than when you started ;o)
(((HUG)))
Congrats to Hubby, hope he has a great first day!
::booty shake dance into the sunset::
-A
just be you. beautiful post. fear keeps me rooted in one area and i too am forcing myself to move away from the fear to give dreams a go,
ReplyDeletecongrats to your husband and his new job,
LuLu
Your honesty is refreshing. :)
ReplyDeleteYou are enough. AND I think your art is pretty awesome and unique...so I can't wait to see what you create :)
ReplyDeleteFake it till you make it sista. I think that's a good thing for all of us to do when we don't think we can do something.
Hugs!
Here are my thoughts. (1) What does God want you to do and (2) what does the devil want? The devil wants you to sit around thinking demeaning thoughts about yourself and never attempting anything for God's glory. He wants you paralyzed in fear. Now -Go out and please God. And one more thing - I am practically writing this for myself instead of you. Most women deal with this - fear of failure -fear of ridicule -fear of others not approving of us. Don't worry what others think - attempt to please God, only. (and Thank YOU for making me type this out so that maybe it will soak into my thick head!)
ReplyDelete-Trish
What you went through was a retreat, an experience, a spiritual awakening.
ReplyDeleteLeaving those moments along life's road mean stepping back into reality and learning how to harness that special time in a all of the REAL moments.
It is an adjustment period that is NORMAL. Molasses is NORMAL.
Remember to give yourself grace as you Bring the NEW into the OLD and create a new, New :)
Oh, and just FLY!!
Oh just hang in there honey! I'm in a valley myself. Luckily God is never absent in the Valley.
ReplyDelete~ The thing that is really hard, and really amazing, is giving up on being perfect and beginning the work of becoming yourself. ~ Anna Quindlen
ReplyDeleteSometimes faking it til you make it is the best thing to do, and before you know it it's the real deal. Maybe you'll find some encouragement in your Esther homework. :) I'll be thinking of you today. Hope your hubby's first day went well.
ReplyDeletexo
Hey, it's the perfect setting for God's glory to shine right? Fake on girl!
ReplyDeleteIt is perfectly OK to do things afraid and "fake it til we make it" I feel like I do that a lot. And I kind of like it that way:)
ReplyDeleteWow!! That totally describes me...I want perfection so rather than be disappointed, I don't start. Really, we're selling ourselves short and you are so right, what do you have to lose. God hasn't given us a spirit of timidity!! I am reminded that I need approval of the One who loves me more than anything. Use your gifts that He has given you that He might shine through you.
ReplyDeleteTake that leap ~ spread your wings and fly my friend! You know you can do it, fake it or not. I wish I had words of wisdom, but the ladies that made comments before me seem to have the wisdom down pat. Hugs to you Becky.
ReplyDeletePS: I hope that honey's 1st day went well.
Oh Becky! I sometimes lack inspiration too but you have to think of what Kathy and Melody would say about it. Whats kept me goin is my business on Etsy Im going to do soon. Me and my mom feel God wants us to get going and make some$$$. Just think of the possitives of the things you have to do. Like the end result. Thinking of little crafts I could sell really add up. And other little jobs here and there. Just keep moving forward!
ReplyDeleteUse the gifts God has given you...it would be such a shame if you didn't! You are an amzing person Becky, with a bright spirit and a beautiful heart...let that guide you and I know you will do nothing but succeed!
ReplyDelete:) T
How did I miss this today??? I love that we get a fresh start each day to start over and do better. I am feeling so motivated this week too! I ADORE you and can't wait to get creating together!!!! Are you still thinking of coming to CO in November???
ReplyDeleteI know you have this great ability within yourself, take that inspiration from the inside and bring it outward and you will NOT fail!! You rock Becky and your courage is amazing!! And here is the best part, if you don't like your finished product use it to teach you for the next!! You can do this!!!!
ReplyDeleteLove you!!
I can totally relate to the need for perfection keeping me from getting started. But it is so much better to do and to be.
ReplyDeleteThank you for that reminder.