Monday, September 28, 2009

Taboo Topic

You know sometimes a post comes to me and I really don't want to share it, but then I hear that little voice and I know it's not just about me. So just know this one was not easy...


When I was a little girl, maybe Little Chick's age, I had a mentally handicapped uncle who sexually molested me. He would have me sit on his lap (he was wheelchair bound) and then he would put his hands down my pants. You can imagine at that young age how confusing it was. I remember feeling scared, angry, shameful, dirty and then guilty because it was a new "feeling" I hadn't experienced before. I would hide from him and I remember once locking myself away upstairs where he couldn't get to me and no one could find me. When I did finally share what happened I felt like I wasn't taken too seriously. He couldn't help himself...he was handicapped.





I
really don't ever think about it, but I know subconsciously I do. I am a little paranoid when it comes to my own girls. We have talks all of the time about inappropriate touching and being able to come to us about anything, no matter how embarrassing or shameful.



As I share this I know many of you have experienced the same thing...some on a much more severe level. It's rare that we make it through life without some sort of abuse, whether it's sexual, physical or emotional. We live in a fallen world and sin is all around us. We carry these bruises with us into adulthood and they manifest themselves as masks to protect ourselves. Masks of perfectionism, hardened exteriors, depression, insecurities, trust issues or walls to keep people from knowing who we really are. We don't have to carry these things with us. Those deep secrets and hidden emotions need to be let go and the only way I believe real healing happens is if we lay them at the foot of the cross. So I just want to pray with you:


"Lord you placed this blog post on my heart for a reason.
Someone out there needs to know that the past is past.
That those chains that have been binding them all these years are falling to the ground right now.
We come against the enemy and the lies and deceit he has been telling us.
Lord we ask that you free us from any feelings of shame or wrongdoing.
Lord if there is sin in our lives forgive us and make us pure and holy in your sight.
Take these masks Father.
We lay them at your feet and we ask for a healing to come.
We know that by your stripes that you took for us, we are healed and we claim that today.
We are believing for a miracle Lord...
a renewing and we give you praise in advance for what you are going to do in our lives.
Thank you Jesus!"





Have a blessed day.





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48 comments:

  1. Wow, you are a strong person! I send lots of prayers your way and anyone else who went through or is going through abuse!

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  2. Odd that we both picked the same topic to blog about today. Interesting actually. I talk things out with my kids all the time because of the same reason (I too was molested). I actually find myself praying "Ok God, if it's one out of 3 women that have been sexually abused and I have two daughters, let me be the ONLY ONE!"

    The main reason I came over to your blog was because of a comment you made on Housewife Savant's blog about spell check in the comment section. You can get that actually. I use Google Chrome and it checks my spelling as I type on about 90% of the webpages out there. Very handy tool.
    You should check out my post for today too, we have a little in common. Thanks for being brave enough to tell us your story, always good to know we arent alone.

    http://thecaffeinatedlife.blogspot.com/

    ~Autumn

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  3. Wow
    God is big and full of love!
    Thank you for having the courage to tell your story. We all have stories, don't we? I hope this post provides peace and hope to many other women.
    Blessings,
    Chrissie

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  4. Thanks for the courage to blog about this and Pray for others. This is a tough topic and affected my family of origin. Yeterday at church the message was about Forgiveness and our Pastor was emphasizing that we have been forgiven our debts but if we cannot forgive those who sin against us neither can the Lord forgive our sins - Matthew 6:14-15. We had the opportunity to write down a name and fold our paper and nail it to the cross. What an amazing exercise to Let go and Let God! And the Pastor pointed out for some it might not be that easy, you may have to ask God for help repeatedly. Your Prayer was beautiful Becky and so are you!

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  5. bravo to you for following The Spirit's lead. in the past two weeks alone i have "met" 6 women who were abused. it's obvious that God is bringing this forward in hopes of bringing healing. i am going to send them here, your prayer is beautiful and powerful!! love to you.

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  6. Thank you for posting this. I have three little girls and my thoughts drift to this topic and whenever I begin to fear, I'm learning to pray.
    ~ Wendy

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  7. Becky, you have such a beautiful way with your words of prayer.

    As Chrissie Grace said, "we all have stories" and you, dear friend, are very brave to share yours.

    You are an amazing woman.

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  8. So strong of you to write about this as I know it cannot be easy to think about and remember.

    Janet

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  9. Now this is called obedience. I'm proud of you. And I pray that your healing is passed right along to others who need it so badly.

    xo

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  10. With this post, you've helped more people than you'll ever know. I can only imagine how hard this post must have been to write; to share a painful subject with your readers. That makes you strong & brave, in my opinion. I have two daughters...and like you, I want them to trust in their Dad & me...that they can come to us no matter what.

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  11. God has blessed you with much strength and understanding. You are an amazing woman!

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  12. Brave girl! Thank you for letting God use you in such a profound way. With deepest respect, Lissa

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  13. Oh you sweet girl. I'm so proud and blessed to have been trusted with this- your story. I know your story will bless others, as will your amazingly sweet heart. My dear friend, what a woman of worth you are!

    Blessings,
    Sash

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  14. So sorry that you and so many other girls out there have been through this. It sickens me to think of these men doing such horrible things to sweet innocent children. We can never be too careful of who are sweet kids are around!

    God Bless~~

    Chasity

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  15. Oh dear Becky! What an AWESOME woman of Faith you are!!! a testimony of just how Mighty our God is! Sending you lots of prayers (and a big hug too!)
    Many, Many Blessings!
    Jill

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  16. This is such a brave post. Very moving and powerful...

    Thank you for sharing it.

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  17. You are so courageous and I thank you for that. May God heal your wounds...and allow you the strength to continue to help others.

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  18. Becky, thank you for sharing...you are so brave and there was a reason this was pressing on your heart to share. We as parents have to protect our children, always.

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  19. Thanks for sharing. I'm sorry you went through that. I pray your sharing will bless lives and prevent heartache. It is a good reminder to always be on the lookout and to believe our children, no matter how something sounds.

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  21. I'm in the beginning phases of a book called "Healing Choices" by John Baker. This is something I have to face in my life and I don't want to but I have to heal.
    Thank you for praying with me today...

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  22. Becky, wow. I am so sorry to hear what you had to go through as a little girl. It takes a lot of courage to share your story but I'm so glad you did because I am sure that it will be an encouragement to someone.

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  23. Well Farmgirl, you are such a treasure and I've really enjoyed stopping by your blog.

    This morning when I read this post it really hit home with me as it did with quite a large handful of ladies who left a comment. I am not one to come out and share my story with just anyone, let alone post it on my blog but I want to commend you for listening.

    Listening is Hard! and I have to pay close attention and try and try to listen to what the Holy Spirit is whispering so sweetly - I think praying is one thing that is so important and powerful but listening, is what I struggle with and I have a feeling most of us need to work on.

    Praise God that you did listen and reached out touching many with your blog not only encouraging us with your amazing message but being an amazing example of being a good listener. (Hugs) The Lady

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  24. Oh Becky, I know this couldn't have been easy for you to write about...how terrible that you had to go thru this! I'm just in shock that you weren't taken seriously when you finally told someone. But somehow you have managed to become the incredible woman that you are, and that is very inspiring! There is always healing in the love of Jesus! You're an amazing woman Becky!!

    T

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  25. You are very brave to have shared your story. My Mom was molested by her oldest brother at a young age, and she knows all too well how easily the pain can be carried into your adult years. Even though she was never able to find closure between her and her brother (he died from MS in his 30's) she did find what it meant to forgive, find healing, and move on. My sister and I were fiercely protected, Mom and my Dad made sure we knew that we could come to them with anything. I've known many a young woman who felt they couldn't go to their parents for fear of shame, and I am just so incredibly grateful mine never made us feel that way. Don't ever be afraid to use your testimony as a gift to others. You never know the way you may be able to reach someone because you have been through what they've gone through. What a great ministry!

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  26. You're right, we all wrestle with something - knowingly and unknowingly. What a tough subject to post. When we follow what the Holy Spirit says to do - it goes against our natural thought sometimes, many times. I pray the Lord just bless you really big and protect your heart and lives, and that of your girls, and husband. And a quiet, thoughtful, praises to God and Amen to your prayer. (PS this has nothing to do w/this post but I see my sister's face, Karen Hargett, in your followers! How about that!)

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  27. Thank you for sharing. I had the same thing happen to me when I was a little girl and some days those feeling come back like a ton of bricks and on other days I never think about it. Again thank you for sharing!

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  28. You are so brave to share your story. A friend of mine is battling something similar in her family right now with her own sweet little girl. We are all so thankful that her daughter knew she could approach her parents. I'll be borrowing her book for children on inappropriate touching soon...I feel like I need to start talking about this with my oldest, and she's not even 4 yet!!!

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  29. I am sure it took a lot of courage to write this post. I experienced similar abuse but at the hands of my step-grandfather. Sexual abuse is so painful, but thank God for His tender love and mercies.

    Thank you for sharing your story.

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  30. This is such a powerful post. Your courage to write on this topic shows how strong you are and how deep your faith is. I attended a workshop on this topic.. and how to protect my children. It was put on at my childrens school and I left there moved by the stories I heard and the tips on how to protect my children.
    Thank your for standing up and sharing your story,
    xo,
    LuLu

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  31. You are so courageous! God is going to bless you mighty! I can't wait till Satan gets his you know!?

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  32. It's a scary world out there. Thanks for sharing your story.

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  33. I can't imagine.
    Thank you for sharing your story...you never know who you find that might need a push to let it out.
    xo

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  34. My story involved an elderly neighbor. Fortunately, my sister ran to tell my mom when I was pulled into a back room and I was rescued before I was physically hurt. It's tough to guard our kids w/o scaring them or stealing their innocence.

    Like all the others, I am proud of you for your bravery, but I am most proud of your obedience. "Well done..."

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  35. I'm so sorry for what you went through. Thank you for stepping out in faith. I know it's not easy to talk about things in the past, but when God pushes us forward, it is for others to heal. Regardless of the nightmares of our past, God is there to restore and renew.

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  36. Becky,

    The injury.

    The injustice.

    The incredible sharing and healing.

    "Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us, to Him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen" (Ephesians 3:20-21).

    Sweet dreams, precious girl.

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  37. Oh honey...what an awful thing to live through! You are so brave to share it!!!

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  38. This may have been a taboo post, but you are so strong for posting it. The only thing you can do is keep communicating so it won't happen to your own girls.

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  39. It amazes me how God can use the horrible experiences in our lives to reach out to others. Your story will be a blessing to others who are afraid to face these kinds of issues in their life. Thank you for your honesty and your heart for serving the Lord.

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  40. Becky that was an amazingly strong post...There is to much of that going on in this world that it saddens me to my soul! And might I add that your prayer was beautiful! You are such an amazing woman!!

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  41. I was very touched by your courage to post this. My best friend was molested by her next door neighbour for 5 years. I played with her there often. I never knew any of this happened, until recently. We as parents have a duty to protect our beautiful children at all times. *big hugs*

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  42. I'm amazed at your strength... By leaning on The Rock, YOU rock! Thank you for sharing. I pray that this helps somebody too... ((HUGS))

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  43. Oh my. I'm sorry. It's amazing how such strength and beauty can come from such darkness. It is such a affirmation that hope and joy can grow through any circumstances. No matter what. I'm glad that the situation didn't break you. You seem to have much to offer the world.

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  44. A lovely post about a terrible thing. I am sure that your post did so much mopre than you will ever realize.

    What a truly wonderful prayer. I'll be honest, it was the first time in a while that a prayer truly touched me the way yours did. It is so incredibly appropriate and touching in such an uplifting way.

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  45. Becky,

    I want you to know that this post was for me. I just broke down. I can barely stop crying. Thank you so much for being brave enough to blog about this. When this happened to me I felt I was old enough to know better and when I decided to tell someone I too, was not taken seriously. It hurt me so much. Then I decided to confront this man and tell him that what he did was wrong and he denied that anything happened. I was so angry, but then felt so ashamed.

    I am so sorry that this happened to you and I always pray that my children will be protected.

    Every word of your prayer pierced my very soul. I know it was Spirit led and I thank you for your obedience.

    xo,
    Adrienne

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  46. You are such a strong and courageous woman, stronger than you probably realize. And you are a true blessing to those of us who read your words. Big hugs to you sweet friend! xo

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  47. I admire you for being brave and posting this. You will help many. What a horrible thing for a child to endure--the act itself and then the indifference when you told someone. It's so hard to understand the suffering that goes on in this world. I'm glad you have placed your burdens at the feet of Jesus.
    Hugs to you,
    Elle

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