Sunday, October 20, 2013

what the 10 year olds taught me

You may see a tiny bit of fear in her eyes, but in all actuality she was terrified to hold those sparklers.  Terrified!!  We made her hold them anyway:/  Oh and that smile at the's fake.  Because I told her to smile!  That's what crazy parents/big sisters do for a cool photo of their girl on her 10th birthday.  It's kinda cruel.  But in the end no one got hurt and now she can say she did it afraid and lived to tell about it right?!!  Geesh!  Slide that five minutes of fun over onto the list of birthday stressors. 

Every year as one of my girls birthdays approach I get an anxious feeling.  I want it to be SOOOO special.   Oh the pressure!!  I think part of it stems from some mommy guilt.  I work at home.  I'm busy a lot.  Distracted too much. 

But I never...NEVER in a million years want to downplay their special day, so I stress a bit.  It's all those tiny little details. And I'm NOT a detail girl.  I want the whole day from beginning to end to be beautiful and dangit I'm not a party planner.  I'm not good at meal planning.  I'm not the mom that makes baked goods after school and has tea parties;)  Wink to my Sasha girl!!  I wish I was.  I admire that effort I really do.  Because I know it's a choice...but I digress.

On her actual birthday we met her down at the bus stop and walked her home.  We had balloons on the mailbox, flowers on the table and in her room.  She opened her gifts from us, and when it was time for her to read Big Chick's card it completely startled me that the tears came flooding.  I wasn't expecting it.  But the words, the sentiment and meaning, is what she needed more than anything:)  Man I love those girls.  What a gift they are to each other.

For dinner we went out to Texas Roadhouse.  The girl likes her steak;)  And then it was home for bed.

The mom who hates to plan, who isn't into the details, decided that an at home party was the way to go this year.  I had just went to that fun Timree Gold painting party out in Newport Beach, so I had a vision of how the table would be set up.  I had a run down on the way she led the class.  I had a gum ball painting all ready and painted.  We were set:))

And honestly the girls loved it.  They all turned out different because of ability etc...  Which is the best part in my mind, because that's what art is all about.  Individuality and self expression:)  BUT when given the choice to do different colors for their machines no one had the courage to break away from the pack.  I think that's a 10 year old thing.  Conformity is safe.  No one wants to stand apart.

This need to be IN with the others and to think alike was also very apparent with the hand raising.  Tamara was there helping me...GOD BLESS HER!  And she picked up on it right away.  Who loves the color yellow?  Hands up.  Who thinks dogs are better than cats??  Hands up.  Just an example;) Then I said who likes me and it was lightning fast...HANDS UP!  Hmmmm...interesting.

What does all this mean?  So many thoughts are swirling in my mind at once.  I'm sure some of it's developmental and social, but what is really mind blowing to me is that as women we obviously still struggle to find our way in this same area. 
We still feel the need to be like everyone else.  Because heaven forbid if we don't like to cook, decorate different, weigh more or less, don't belong to a bible study, can't craft to save our soul, don't blog or Instagram, homeschool etc...then we just don't measure up.  We don't quite fit in.  Our hand is DOWN.  And no one wants to be left out or be labeled different or sit on the sideline.  AND apparently this started when we were 10 or so!!  YIKES!! 

It's always been a wish of mine that I could get into and enjoy things like cooking, gardening and making beautiful tablescapes etc...  Not that I can't learn, but it's really not my natural gifting.  I have to go with the things that bring me joy and walk in the ways the Lord made me:)  He has a unique calling on all of us.  A unique flavor to our being.  I may have a little more sugar than spice or vice versa, but when it's all blended together we each bring something very special to the table or to the canvas for that matter;) 
So hands up if you are a uniquely made, beautiful woman of God! 

 Be a blessing.


my little chick who blesses me with her tender spirit

this girl who spent her Saturday serving and loving...
sweet fergie who made it through that traumatic day...may many crumbs fall her way
to all the little friends who will come in and out of our girls life...may we be light to them
a cupcake bar!!
Panini press
scary sparklers
self expression
acceptance of ourselves and grace with others

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