Hello sweet friends...are you still there?? I'm sorry I've been MIA lately. Life has been happening. And it's been good. Really good. I can't wait to share some of our adventures back home and a little side trip we took. It may take me a month of Sundays to edit and blog it all, but that's okay:)
Going home is always emotional, but this time it was extreme. My dad's mom is in the end stages of life. She's 98 and her heart is giving out. This trip I spent so much time reflecting on my own childhood, thinking about the past, watching my growing girls...pondering death. Heavy stuff.
The words...Land of the Living kept repeating in my mind.
I know there are seasons. The Bible talks about them in Ecclesiastes 3...
There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under the heavens:
and a season for every activity under the heavens:
2 a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
3 a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
4 a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
5 a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
6 a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
7 a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
8 a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
3 a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
4 a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
5 a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
6 a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
7 a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
8 a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.
As I watched my Grandma struggle for breath. As I saw her frail form just sitting...waiting. I couldn't help but wonder what it feels like to die. What is she feeling WAITING to die?? It can't be fun. I know as prepared as you are for the next life to begin, for God to take you on to our Heavenly home, it has to be scary. She once told me that you have to be brave getting older. It takes courage.
That fear comes from the unknown. Will it hurt? What is heaven like? Will I know my people? I don't want to leave the familar...my loved ones. Will God be pleased with me? Forever is f.o.r.e.v.e.r. Yikes!!!
And that's where the trust comes in because obviously none of us (except the rare few) have experienced death and then lived to tell about it. So we trust, just like in the season of the living, that He is right there by our side to welcome us home. That His hands are holding us tightly through the process. That He knows the pain. That He senses the fear. That His grace makes it possible to get through it...no matter how difficult.
So I'm praying for my Grandma as she waits. Praying that God fills her with comfort, peace and bravery:) And I'm lifting my eyes to the Giver of all gifts...very aware that I'm in the Land of the Living. My journey is hopefully still filled with many more days.
I don't want to waste a single one of them.
Be a blessing.
cornfields
choo choo trains
a last visit
youth
life ahead
a heavenly home
grace
