Sunday, December 11, 2011

i surrender all

I woke up this morning with "I Surrender All" in my heart.  Do you remember that song?  When I was a little girl we attended a Baptist church and almost every Sunday they would play that song.  It never failed to swell my heart and make me tear up. 

All to Jesus, I surrender;
All to Him I freely give;
I will ever love and trust Him,
In His presence daily live.


I surrender all, I surrender all,
All to Thee, my blessèd Savior,
I surrender all.

All to Jesus I surrender;
Humbly at His feet I bow,
Worldly pleasures all forsaken;
Take me, Jesus, take me now.


All to Jesus, I surrender;
Make me, Savior, wholly Thine;
Let me feel the Holy Spirit,
Truly know that Thou art mine.


All to Jesus, I surrender;
Lord, I give myself to Thee;
Fill me with Thy love and power;
Let Thy blessing fall on me.


All to Jesus I surrender;
Now I feel the sacred flame.
O the joy of full salvation!
Glory, glory, to His Name!
    I've been struggling lately with surrender...with trusting and letting go.  It dawned on me this week that I've become that person I can't stand.  Someone who whines and complains to anyone with a listening ear.  You know how it finally became clear?  I was talking to someone at the bus stop and I started "sharing" about a certain issue I was having and I could see her immediately disconnect...looking for an escape from me.  That's all it took for my eyes to be opened.  Yes Lord you got my attention.  I've been sinning.  Complaining has become a habit.  Please change my heart and allow my tongue to follow.  So I'm working on it, and making an effort to nip that in the bud!
    This has been a week of transformation.  I've kind of been lax in taking care of my appearance lately.  It women we get busy, but girls we've got to maintain and try to look pretty for our men.  That may sound corny, but they really appreciate a little effort.  SO I finally got some funky highlights and got the paint out from under my nails.  Honey had his Christmas party last night and I could tell he was thoroughly enjoying the little bit of effort I made to look nice, and that in return made me feel even prettier.  Does that make sense??

But before the party began I had TO WORK.  Friday night we had our first parent meeting in regards to the play Big Chick is going to be in.  I could feel the blood drain from my face as they told us that we would be required to WORK every Sat. from 10-5 until mid-Feb.  Can you say EVERY Sat. for 10 weeks!!!!  I signed up to work on the sets.  I'm hoping that God can use my artsy side to be a blessing to these people and my girl. 

For awhile now I've been feeling overwhelmed... like I've got too much on my plate.  It's the last thing I really want to slow step back.  Saying no hasn't really been in my vocabulary since we've moved here.  It just felt wrong to say no.  And I can't say no to this, but at some point you have to pay attention to that nudging in your spirit man and obey.  I've ignored that check in my spirit with some things lately and there are consequences.  Like a loss of peace...a frazzled mother and wife...a grouchy complainy person...EEEK!  Anyway I'm working on it.

Okay so here we are last night...after I got my hobo outfit off;)  Painting in an unheated warehouse is super cool;)  But once the artistic painting begins I think it will be really fun AND I'll have no choice but to get to know these people and that will be a really good thing for me.

It was so fun to get dressed up and go out with my Honey.  I got to meet all his coworkers.  We talked and enjoyed each other.  It was the best date night we've had in like forever.

We skipped out from the party a little early and hit a swanky restaurant nearby.  It overlooked the James River and the Richmond skyline.  Very pretty.  Do you ever pinch yourself and wonder how you got to be where you are?  And I'm really talking about being an adult.  Inside I feel like I'm still 19-25.  But here I am an adult with kids and a mortgage and I'm on a date with my honey at a fancy restaurant.  I mean how did that happen??  Life is weird.

Okay so this morning it was back to reality and that reality was that we were too tired to go to church.  So we did the next best thing and got out our Jesus Calling and had our own church...complete with the Jesse Tree advent that we are doing. 

I ordered this kit from my friend Alicia's friend Robin (  it's too late for this year, but you could still probably get one for next year).  It comes complete with a devotion and handmade ornaments for each day of Advent. We've never done Advent before.  My kids are loving it.  It really brings the focus right to where it needs to be.  It's reminding me day after day that God's promises are real and that His hand is leading us every step of the way.  Story after story reminds us of that fact. 

I've talked about the Jesus Calling books so much that I thought I should hand a couple out.  If you leave me a comment telling me about what you are thankful for this Christmas I'll throw your name in the pot. 

Have a blessed day.

301.  God's mercy and grace
302.  a date with my best friend
303.  playing dress up
304.  using my gifts
305.  little corrective nudges
306.  ooey gooey chocolate goodness
307.  freshly painted nails and funky hair
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