Sunday, July 5, 2015

the closed door and sweet surrender

 A door in the backyard of a house I just knew was to be mine...

We're home after a whirlwind trip back to Texas.  To be honest the whirlwind started long before our plane took off.  After our trip in April, we got home and Texas stayed on our minds.  We unpacked and put things away, but our whole Strahle Soulcation lingered.

So when some generous friends offered to let us house-sit for them back in Austin for two weeks in June we jumped at the chance!!  It would give us more time to explore.  To see the things we didn't have time to visit before. Little did we know a job opportunity would present itself.  Here comes the roller coaster...

A trip to San Antonio...the Alamo

The job for my honey sounded perfect.  The opportunity a once in a lifetime.  So he interviewed and was promised the brass ring and we looked into moving to TEXAS.  We had Realtors.  We told the girls.  We went through the emotional roller coaster of detaching and moving on.  Only to have one door after another close, giving us a clear no to what we thought must be a definite yes.

It's funny how we always pray for wisdom and discernment.  We pray for Gods clear direction.  But when the answer becomes certain it's like really sure?  Why did we go on this wild goose chase if it wasn't from you?  What was the purpose in all that upheaval?

Stanley's Farmhouse Dripping Springs 

I'm not really sure.  Maybe it's to appreciate what you already have.  To make things work where you're at instead of moving on to the next thing. Maybe it's a test to see how we would handle disappointment.  Honestly I think I might be failing in that area a little right now;)

When the no came we were still in Texas.  I'd had some doubts about a lot of things...housing was expensive.  Moving my shop and figuring out what to do with my business seemed impossible. There's always the fear factor with moving the girls.  Will they find friends easily?  Are we screwing up their lives?  Will we like it there?  Is this where we want to be forever??  Because quite honestly I'm tired.  I want to plant roots and build community.  I want my forever home. So yeah a lot was going on in my head.  And the initial let down felt like sweet relief.

The night we almost saw the bats:/ 

And then the disappointment set in.  The sadness found it's way into my heart.  I hate that it did.  I wish I could be all smiles and so at peace about knowing the path we're supposed to be on, but it came and I'm dealing, and it will just take a while to unpack mentally.  To set up house again here.

Remember when I said the whirlwind started a long time ago?  A few years ago I had a pull to Austin.  Some friends moved there.  Every article I read mentioned it.  One of my favorite blogs showed a farmhouse there that I immediately fell in love with.

Then I had the dream.  Our family was in a car driving toward a mountain range.  The dirt road was cracked open and really bumpy.  Then all of a sudden a flash flood came out of nowhere and our car was picked up, carried off the road and started falling... And I jolted awake!

So maybe the dream was prophetic and He was preparing me for the bumpy road.  Maybe the experience was necessary for me to trust Him once again.  Because no matter where we live or what the outcome is I know from experience He has a plan and it's a GOOD plan.  He loves us and cares about everything and He knows right where He wants us.  It ultimately comes down to trust.  And that's where I'm at.  Trusting Him once again for our every day, for every step, for every little detail of my life.  Sweet surrender.

Be a blessing.

 These girls!!  Love them so.
 My honey. 
Remember the Alamo? We do. Sweat running down our backs... Sharing life with my peeps
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