shine;)

I stumbled upon some ugly words about myself last week.  It was one of those snarky mean girl sites and someone had taken the time to pretty much judge every move I make.  Including that I'm a bad writer.  I try not to focus on stuff like that because no one but my close peeps really know me, but for some reason the bad writer thing stuck (oh I hate that) and has been on replay in my mind occasionally this last week.  It's kinda weird that it was that statement that bothered me, because I know I'm not a technically good writer.  I write just exactly how I would talk. Run on sentences.  Incomplete thoughts.  Lack of focus;)

Blah, blah, blah...  The thing is hurting people lash out and hurt people.  It's easy to throw stones.  It's easy to pick on and put down others, especially in this day and age...all hidden behind our screens.  We've all seen the horrible things that others say on IG to complete strangers.  It blows my mind how people can be so hateful and mean...but then I'm reminded we live in a fallen world.  Not everyone believes the things I do.  Extend grace...ugh!

I started this blog six years ago!  Six!!!  I was cold and dark...literally;)  It was cold up there in Minnesota and I was in a dark place struggling with depression.  And blogging was wonderful.  It helped me focus my time and energy on searching for good.  Looking at my little world and embracing and noticing everything around me.  What a gift:)  I wouldn't trade it for anything.  And the friends I've met!  And the places I've been!!!  I don't think any of it would have been possible without this space...this platform.

And now there's Instagram. Amazing how you think things will stay the same and then all of a sudden it's different.   Somehow I have 20,000 "followers" on IG!  Say WHAT!!  I don't say that to brag.  Honestly I can't believe people would want to tag along and see what little snippets I have to share.  Really it's humbling and weird and if you don't keep the whole thing in perspective it's a mind game.

 I read a quote recently that said: 

"Artists are people driven by the tension between the desire to communicate and the desire to hide". -- DW Winnicott 

YES!  This is how I feel exactly.  There is a constant push and pull feeling in me to share everything and then share nothing...  Because heaven forbid you share something special...something close to your heart and it gets misunderstood or you get judged.  Who has time for that!  Who wants to put their heart out there to get stomped on!  And when you add an element of creativity...well that just ups the anty.  

But despite those feelings I have the strongest conviction that I think life is meant to be shared.  We learn from each other.  We can inspire one another and we can give that little bit of encouragement along the way.  We are not the only ones that feel vulnerable and tired and out of sorts occasionally.  This life thing is no joke.  It's hard at times and to walk with others is a gift...even if it is virtually.  

SO all that to say... SHINE girls!  Don't let the thoughts of anyone deter you from your purpose.  There is only one you!  The world needs to see your gifts and talents.  God has specifically given them to you to SHARE:)  Don't worry about being judged...you will be.  Put on your blinders.  Focus on what's in front of you and live out your calling...whatever that may be:)

Be a blessing.

thankfuls...

 relearn something...

 these girls! i prayed for them and now they are here:)  fgp christmas party!!

 making more room for the shop...eeek!

redder hair:0

prickly

I'm about ten steps behind as of late.  Oh the joys of the holidays:)  About two hours after I mailed out the last of the Etsy palooza orders my parents arrived.  Whew!  What would have been perfect...if perfect was ever possible...would have been about a week or two of gathering my wits.  Maybe a day to sleep in, a hot bath, a much overdue workout or two...a salad!  But it didn't go down like that.  Timing is everything.  It really is a true statement.  But despite me we had fun.  We tromped through every antique store in a 30 mile radius.  We decorated the house and made a Thanksgiving feast.  Honey and I did Black Thursday, and Mom and I hit Black Friday.  She even helped me wrap each and every gift.  Feeling blessed to be pretty caught up.

Speaking of Black Friday and Thanksgiving I was feeling a little blue this year.  Tradition is a funny thing.  For the last three years we've spent Thanksgiving with some dear friends.  They moved back up North recently ending our little "turkey run":/  Even though this year was wonderful the memories of previous years made a little pit form in my stomach.  I love change, crave it actually, but lately I find myself mourning loss.

So back to tradition.  These pics are a few weeks old.  The girls had a day off from school recently, and it's our thing to go to this one trail and take pretty pics.  We've done it the past three years in a row. Honey is always working, so it's just me and my girlies.  Pictures are always better outside.  Why don't I ever go outside!??  I miss my big girl camera.  I hardly ever pick it up anymore.

On our walk I found this prickly thing on the ground and couldn't help but feel a connection with it.  I kinda feel prickly lately.  I think burnout is to blame.  The lack of time for basic self care.  You've heard the saying all work and no play...  I have this burning desire to find time for FUN!  So I'm cultivating a plan for play.  I'm getting out a pen and paper and scheduling it in.  Yes pen and paper.  A list has to be made you know.  It's not going to just happen on it's own;)

1. Learn something new (this is coming)
2. Relearn something old (I signed up for The Beautiful Mess online camera course)
3. Take care of yourself (I joined our Hot House Yoga studio)
4. Read a book...any suggestions??

While my folks were here we got the call that my dad's brother David passed away.  He had a massive heart attack and died while tending to his herd of buffalo down in Tennessee.  So sudden.  So unexpected.  This of course riled up all kinds of emotion.  What do I want to be doing if I died right this second?  OR if I had time how would I like to spend my last days on Earth??

Life is so short.  We don't know the plan.  Thank heavens for that.  Seriously if I had a visible expiration date I'd probably go sit in a corner frozen with the pressure to make every last second matter.  But what does matter?  I definitely wouldn't go buy anything.  I'd give away everything I owned to all the people I love.  I'd scoop them up and go to every place I've ever dreamed of.  I'd make a million and one memories.  I'd write out how I feel...what I believe.  I'd have those heart to hearts.  It would be intense.  It would be deep.  It would be pretty exhausting.  Maybe just maybe instead of going full throttle I could try living this way a little bit at a time, every day...just because it's obviously the right thing to do;)

Be a blessing.

thanksfuls...

 taking mom and dad to the cinebistro...  love their enthusiasm for the littlest of things;)

 tobymac concert with our besties

 sweat city! yoga in a very hot room is hard y'all

done and beautiful:)