Friday, August 10, 2012

just like that



When honey and I were first married my dad had open heart surgery.  It was major.  It was a quintuple bypass and a valve replacement. Things didn't go as planned and I'll never forget the call for all of us to come up to the hospital.  He had congestive heart failure and we all needed to be there.  I remember like yesteday that panicked sick feeling and thinking noooo this can't be happening...my dad can't die.  I don't have kids yet.  He won't know them.  He HAS to know them and vice versa.


That day my mom and I snuck away, and went down to the hospital chapel, and we knelt on our knees with our heads buried onto those pews and we pleaded for God to spare him.  We warred with the heavenlies that day and I believe our prayers were answered.  He miraculously pulled through.  I've always felt that he's been living on borrowed time ever since.


Apparently during surgery a stitch was pulled too tightly causing a tiny little hole in my dad's heart.  He gets it monitored every 6 months.  He's been living with a heart that only pumps at 20% for several years.  Well they just got the results of the most recent test and it's declined.  It's now at 15%.


Mom called me crying and scared, and just like that a seed of worry and fear started to grow.  Just like that I immediately started to think about all the what if'sWhat if he can't walk eventually and needs oxygen??  You don't know my dad.  He's stubborn and proud.  Strong.  His greatest fear is to ever need help or appear frail.  That would do him in. What if he dies?  I can't even wrap my brain around that.  I need my daddy.  Can't picture life without my dad in it.  What about mom...what will she do?  Where will she live?  How will anything ever be normal again??  Why is life so hard.


I think the most difficult part of going through any stressful event is the complete lack of control.  We can't make things better.  We can't predict the future.  We can't keep our loved ones from pain and suffering.  All we can do is pray.  We can leave it at the feet of the One who loves us and trust that He will provide, He WILL give us what we need...when we need it.  I would love it if you joined my family in praying for my daddy.  We would really appreciate it!






Have a blessed day.








710.  being able to dump my burden on the One who can carry it
711. borrowed time
712.  that my kids know their grandpa
713.  a love that nothing will separate
714.  having a good Godly man for a daddy



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73 comments:

  1. You are not alone. He has NOT left you. Praying you experience God's love and care and provision in the midst of fear and insecurity and not understanding.

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  2. I'll definitely be praying for him, Becky, and the rest of you, too. xo

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  3. You can count on it, Becky! I have been through numerous circumstances just like yours. All the while I knew that God was right there with me and that He would never, ever leave my side. He gave me more strengh than I thought humanly possible. So, TRUST with all your heart and soul that all will be well. Let God handle the rest. Big hugs!

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  4. i'll be praying for your fam and dad. it sucks... my dad not ever knowing my man or kids. but i have to remind myself that our time on earth is but a breath... there is eternity for those such things. you will be okay no matter what, He's got you. love ya.

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  5. I'm praying for you sweet lady and your daddy, my dad had a major heart scare and huge surgery in oct miles away and I jumped on a plane to be by his side. He is doing better but has not fully recovered. I so know the feeling. I am lifting him to our heavenly father, it will be ok sweet lady, it will be.

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  6. Praying with you, friend. I know well that seed of worry and fear...

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  7. love you, becky!! my daddy had the same valve replacement surgery in 2001, and is having similar trials now. so difficult :(
    praying for your sweet family!
    jeremiah 31:3 xo

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  8. praying for you friend & for protection of your daddy!!

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  9. Saw your instagram this morning....Thanks for sharing this with us! I will be prayng for you and your family, especially tour Mom and Dad. This isn't easy. God is at work and I am glad you trust Him. :)

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  10. On my knees right along with you sweet Becky. xoxo

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  11. I'm praying for you & your Daddy, Becky...and for your whole beautiful family. Sending big hugs too...

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  12. I'm praying for you & your Daddy, Becky...and for your whole beautiful family. Sending big hugs too...

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  13. Becky,

    I completely understand where you're coming from. As I sit and type this, I'm in the same town that my family got the call that my mom's dad had a heart attack and now, three weeks later, we sit here, as a family, rejoicing because my grandmother (my mom's mom - who is infintely better) had a heart attack - after being spared 11 years from cancer. I can identify with your anxiety, emotions, and stress. Nothing but prayers will be said for you and your family, and nothing but hugs and love will be sent your way. As tough as it is, we know all things work together for good.

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  14. You have been on
    my heart all day and
    ai will continue to send
    positive thoughts and
    prayers.....

    Hugs,
    xo Suzanne

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  15. Lifting your Daddy up to our Father and praying for peace for all your family Becky.
    I know how special and important Dads are to all of us.
    Praying for His healing touch on your Dad and that He would have His way in all of this.
    What a wonderful father and friend he is to you!
    Much love & big warm hugs.

    Deborah xoxoxoxo

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  16. Praying for your family, Becky. My dad died of heart disease when he was only 50 years old; I was 23. Not a day goes by that I don't think of him. God helped us through it & our faith sustains us to this day. Stay strong.

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  17. Becky, as I read your post I felt the tears in my eyes. My Dad left us too soon. He has been gone 14 years and I still can't talk about him without crying. He was the most honest man I ever knew. I pray you get to keep your Dad a long time.

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  18. Our thoughts and prayers are with you. Take care

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  19. I see so many parallels in our lives Becky...I always seem to know how to pray for you....this time, it's the love we have for our daddy's....my dad also had a open heart surgery (although much more recently) during a routine visit after that, they found an abdominal aortic aneurism...but it is not large enough to do surgery on yet.... He says its like a ticking time bomb inside him...and it is, they keep close track of it, but cannot operate until it is just a "hair" bigger. I know your fears, your absolute fear of losing your daddy. I'll pray for your sweet daddy, he seems so much like my own. xoxo

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  20. Praying for your dad Becky and that the peace that passes all understanding will settle on you and your family during this time.

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  21. You daddy is on our prayer chain and at 5pm Cali time we will all be praying fr him at the same time, there are 609 of us honey.

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  22. Prayed and still praying. I know how hard it is to see your dad get sick. I have a lot of those same fears about the what ifs. Trusting God to hold you up. Praying for your mom and all of you too. Hugs friend.

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  23. Oh sweet friend. I will pray with you and your family absolutely. My heart aches for you about this situation.....sending hugs from me to you all. xoxo

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  24. I will keep your Dad and family in my prayers. Health scares are NEVER fun! As close as we are to God, it still seems like fear and what if's sneak in through the cracks... at least with me they do. This past Monday night I found out I had a really bad blood clot, running up my entire leg. My twin boys are due for a c-section on the 28th of this month and being on the meds that I'm on now can be really complicated if things don't go as planned. So the fear and what if's sneak through those little cracks, but I do my best to leave it in God's loving hands. He will take care of us and give us the graces we need to get through it!!

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  25. I'm praying Becky. For your daddy. For your mom. For you and your family. And praying isn't the ONLY thing we can do...it's THE THING WE DO. :)

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  26. Sweet Becky sending a big warm hug your way. I will keep you and your family in my prayers.

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  27. i'm sorry. just don't get worried. hand it over.

    love you.

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  28. I know the bond you have with your Dad ~ it is familiar to me as it is the same kind I had with mine. I will gladly get down on my knees Becky and pray for your Daddy. Keep the faith and I know it is easier said then done but try not to stress yourself out. Great big hugs to your entire family. Love ya girlie. xo

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  29. praying, sweetie.
    He's got this.
    xoxo

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  30. Will do, Becky.We don't know God's plan or timing so all we can do is pray for peace and comfort at this time.
    Please feel our love and prayers...for all of you.

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  31. absolutely praying right alongside you. God has got this, and he loves you and your daddy dearly.

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  32. With my throat constricting & my eyes welling, I am praying!!!

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  33. I'm sorry to hear of the discouraging medical news of your dad. I'm praying now that God will heal your Dad and your family will have many more precious memories together.

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  34. Praying to the Great Physician who loves you all so much!

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  35. I know what you are going thru right now, last year my Father passed away from cancer, you always think their going to be around .
    I am Blessed to have my Sister and Brothers to lean on and vise versa , I am praying for your Dad,keep the Faith.

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  36. I am so sorry Becky. I'm sending you and your family prayers and gentle hugs.

    Mary

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  37. I've been reading your blog for many months now without a personal to you until today. So many of your posts are so heartfelt that it isn't right that it has taken me so long to reply. I am praying for you and your sweet family Becky. My dad is 84 and he just got back from a nine day trip to the Olympics. It was his ninth time going to the Olympics. I have pretty big shoes to fill as I age, with him as my model!

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  38. may our Lord
    bless you and keep you
    in the hollow of His hand
    as you walk through this valley of uncertainty and fear

    and may you know
    His perfect peace

    alison

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  39. of course.

    this is hard.

    God is good.

    michele

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  40. thinking of you and hoping your dad will be ok. Heather x

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  41. sooooo hard......
    I've been on the same journey with my mom for the past 8 years. (COPD..lung disease)

    I'm praying for all of you this morning...and I'm asking God to remind me to pray often for your family.

    Isaiah 54:10
    "Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed,
    yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken nor my covenant of peace be removed,"
    says the Lord who has compassion on you.

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  42. My mom just had open heart surgery this past spring-she has had bypass and valve replacement, so I understand completely how you are feeling. It is such a scary thing to see a parent so very sick...I just had to continually remind myself that God is in control and that he would be beside me through it. I am sending lots of prayers your way for you and your family

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  43. Becky you certainly have all out prayers - for strength, healing and wisdom. You heart is so kind and open and know that I am opening mine to you and your family in prayer. With blessings, Laura.

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  44. Absolutely. I am a Daddy's girl, and know the fear that can grip your heart. God is so good and so big. Will keep you in prayer.

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  45. praying for your dad and you. Instead of "borrowed" time I like to think of it as "gifted" time. may those gifts continue to flow! Hugs

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  46. prayers rising for comfort and peace
    and healing happening
    and happy unesxpecteds
    and extraordinary grace
    to see the face of Love Himself
    in every morsel of this hard experience
    and that it helps drive away
    every tinge of torment.
    Your love for your dad
    is a beautiful thing, by the way:)
    peace and rest,
    Jennifer

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  47. Oh Becky....know that you have a blogworld full of loving friends who are now lifting you, your family, and your sweet daddy up in prayer. Me included. May God give you all strength and comfort. I pray for a miraculous healing for your dad. Love ya, girlie. ♥

    xoxo laurie

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  48. Yes sweet lady we will pray. I will also pray for your heart and mind to see past the here and now and into the eternity of hope we have that will never perish or fade away. One step, one day at a time. We have more grace than we ever lay hold of. Jesus wrap his arms of love around you all.

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  49. (((((((HUGS)))))) and prays for you and your family. xo

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  50. Praying for your Dad. And you know that here or not - he will know your children

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  51. Sweet friend, your father, you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers!!!!

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  52. Dear Becky, I will keep you, your Dad and your family in my prayers...hugs, Patti

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  53. That kind is news is the worst to hear. Prayers going out to your dad that the doctors can fix his heart.

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  54. Been in these terrible and scary situations as well and you are so, so right... all we can do is pray. All we can do is pray and join in prayer. Praying for your dad and your whole family!

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  55. My prayers are with your daddy as well as you and your family...especially your mom. I am sure you have many thoughts running through your mind. Thankfully we have the Lord who will listen to your prayers and concerns. i pray His almighty healing hands will be on your fathers heart...Sounds like your da is a fighter...I pray he will fight through this. May the Lord give you peace and know it is in His hands, the best hands anything like this could ever be in. Trust in the Lord with all your heart, all your mind, all your soul. May He bring you peace in your spirit. Keep us all posted. Blessings to your week. Mica @ The Child's Paper

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  56. Hi Becky!

    I found you via Instagram (@Allykat13). Had to check out this gorgeous blog of yours. Oh my! So blog envious and what a beautiful family you have. I'm your newest follower via Instagram, Blogger and Pinterest. So happy to have linked up with you. Have a blessed day!

    xo,
    Allison
    http://barretts1234.blogspot.com/

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  57. Oh yes Becky, I will pray for your dad and you, your mom and family. Praying for God's miracles and your daddy's healing.

    Hugs to you,
    ♥Lee Ann

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  58. Wow. thinking of you and praying...

    I (too) know that question of uncertainty... but I (also) know WHO holds the future and I know the One who holds my hand.

    We serve a Sovereign God.

    I still hate it that the Lord called my Dad HOME too early. (he never met my kids or my husband - I was 23 when my dad died, leaving nine of us kids - the youngest was three years old)
    But. I HAVE a HOPE that I will see him again. Our days are in HIS hand!


    Love you.
    ~Bevy

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  59. praying for you and your family...

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  60. Oh Becky! My heart aches for you and your family. Please know I will be praying! Wish I could give you a hug in person! Know that I'm sending one with this comment.

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  61. I'm praying for your dad... and for you and your family.

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  62. Tears streaming down my cheeks as I pray.
    Dear Jesus please heal Becky's Daddy.

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  63. Becky I hope your dad is doing okay....mine too had a triple bypass and then I lost my mum in a freak fall(only after we got her through bowel cancer). So I know the pain of losing a loved one and watching a loved one suffer. I hope each day sees him getting stronger with health. My thoughts are with you.

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  64. Still praying for your daddy... and you and your entire family. So scary... I know we talked on the phone and such but I know it's hard on your sweet heart. Love you friend.

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  65. Becky, I love your blog and I usually don't comment much, however this post got to me. I will absolutely being praying for your dad and your family. I had a very bad scare with my dad this year with cancer. He is in remission and doing well. I know how scared it can be. God Bless you and your sweet family.

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  66. i know this is delayed... but praying for your dad and you and your family. stay strong

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