Tuesday, June 14, 2011

one day at a time

Once we finally made our decision to move it seemed that a flood gate of emotion broke loose in me.  Everything here took on a different color.  The greens were more vibrant.  The trees and fields more beautiful.  My senses were on hypersensitive mode.

How could I leave this place?  Especially when the snow's gone!   Every year as soon as Summer finally arrives we get what we like to call Winter amnesia.  Will I have the strength to walk away from my home...the people I love??

I think about the millions of little details that has to be done and it becomes completely overwhelming.  And when I'm overwhelmed I freeze up.  I want to sit in the corner and suck my thumb. 

Being with my friends physically hurts.  The thought of starting over and making those connections that took me years to build about does me in.  Oh and moving day, I think about empty walls and a moving van.  How do I get through that?  Then it occurred to me that I don't have grace for tomorrow.  He is with me now and He'll be with me then, but I only have grace for this moment I'm in.  When I think about the future and the goodbyes etc...THAT is what comforts me.  THAT is what makes me strong.  I can only take this life one day at a time.

Have a blessed day.

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