Thursday, January 17, 2013

His space


I'm feeling very introspective this morning.  Not sure if it's the week of rain or lack of sunny days that have brought it on, or maybe it's the many days in a row without my man that has made me pause and take a look inside but nonetheless...I'm going in.

If you know me in real life you know I don't talk about God all the time.  I'm not super serious or uber religious.  I don't carry my Bible with me everywhere I go...not that that's a bad thing.  I'm just normal.  Just like you.   


I feel lately like I've got a blog identity crisis going on.  Actually I've felt like this for some time.  When I sit down to blog it's not about fluff anymore.  It's not even about me necessarily.  It's about faith and struggles and overcoming and I sit back sometimes and I read my words and I know they're not mine and I'll be honest it's a little weird.


It's very obvious to me this blog is His.  I gave it up a while ago.  I used to hold on tight.  I used to write down my stats and worry about comments.  I used to want to be liked and cared a LOT about what people thought of me.  And it just dawned on me the other day I don't do that here anymore.  I don't know how or when that shift happened, but it did.  It just kind of evaporated.  I've fought it a bit...actually talked about it with my blogging friends.  Wondering why I couldn't write a fun and playful post.  I used to.  It use to come easy, but this is where I am right now.



With that said I've felt a feeling of oppression for a few months.  It comes along with life's trials.  Sometimes we take on others trials as our own too.  It's what we do.  There was the stresses of business...lost supplies, Honey's job trials, family members struggling with sickness...aging, normal mom worries, friends with major issues...the election, the shootings and then gloomy January hit and there is the fast etc...  Just life. 


And you know whenever you consecrate yourself, when you ask God to do a big thing in your life...that it's going to bring on the enemy.   He is roaming the earth looking to devour us.  You know this right?  He is here to steal, kill and destroy us.  And I see him doing that.  It's everywhere you look.  It even sneaks into our homes.  I just happened to be in my Big Chick's room last night when she was showing me something on her iPad and the most vile repulsive images popped up onto her screen and I was in complete shock for a second.  Like how can this be happening!?!?  Thank God I was right there.  Thank God He worked it out that we could get it deleted off and have a discussion.  He had me there...to protect.


So as I sit here deep thinking, cause that's what I do, I'm reminded that we fight not against flesh and blood, but against principalities.  We are in a war friends.  The world is never going to feel right.  We are never going to get what we need from it.  It will leave you empty with a giant hole and the ONLY thing that can fill that hole is Jesus!  The only thing that can protect our hearts and our lives and our future is a relationship with Him. 


I'm not going to fight giving this blog over to Him.  I'm not going worry about losing "followers".   I would hate to think anyone is following me anyway. It's Him... Him I want to lead them to.  I'm praying that will always be the mission here...in this space...His space!





Be a blessing.

 
 
 
 
 
956.  honey's home
957.  He directs my steps
958.  we have authority over the enemy...praise GOD!
959.  slumber party with my girls
960.  a day to go nowhere
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86 comments:

  1. Thank you for sharing.... your worda expressed exactly how I've been feeling over the last few months..okay- maybe longer! Blessings to you today!

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  2. Thank you for sharing.... your worda expressed exactly how I've been feeling over the last few months..okay- maybe longer! Blessings to you today!

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  3. wow, what a beautiful, powerful message. I am a fairly new follower and I am so drawn to your posts, because it is not fluff.

    I feel inspired and encouraged after I read your posts, not inadequate and uncreative, like so many others i read.

    I too have been in a funk and have been pulling away from the fluffier blogs, because I always felt less then after seeing their beautiful homes and how crafty they are.

    I started desiring more truth and you offer that Becky. Thanks for sharing and being such a wonderful example to others.

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  4. Beautifully written with all glory to God. This is a dark world and I am grateful that God intercedes on our behalf. Some seasons are more difficult than others, which makes it a breath of fresh air to visit this space and be filled with God's truth. Praying you find joy and light today. Thanks for sharing your heart!

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  5. Becky...ever since I've been visiting your blog, you have come across to me and to the rest of your readers, I'm sure, as being REAL. I so love that about you...not to mention your love for Christ. I love how you're constantly bringing honor and glory to Him...and that's exactly what this world needs right now. So, continue to write from your heart...don't change a thing!

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  6. I so happy I read your post today. This is exactly what I've been thinking. I haven't even posted much this past few months because of it. Why is it I feel like I have to write a funny, interesting blog to entertain the readers when that's not while I started it at all. You said what I've had on my heart. Thank you so much. Have a blessed day.

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  7. I feel like cheering for you...cheering u on? :) preach it babe!! I get this so much and of course we have talked about thid many times....its a thrill to see that you have come kind of full circle with this. Im proud of uou!! I feel like blogging peace is seasonal in sone ways for me. Often I know who I an and what i want to put out there anf then i have little identity crisises of my own. It happens. Thankfully you are in a great season with it. Love your heart. Love you!! Hope all is well on your end. Just here doing the work....both inside and out. :) have been working on being more posisitive. Hate being a drain ony dear friends. Hope to talk to ya soon!

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  8. I love your posts... thought provoking and insight.

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  9. Just wanted to say....you know your prayer at the end of your blog? It's being answered....I'm blessed and encouraged and inspired each time I visit! Especially today!

    Thank you!!

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  10. We are in a war. Thanks for this post. I know what you mean about wanting your blog to be a beacon for God, a place of salt and light. It's always difficult to hear about the troubles people are having in their lives, but the bible does promise we will have trouble in this world. I like your blog very much. If you start focusing on your faith, I will continue to like your blog very much. Good luck, girl. God is good, all the time. :)

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  11. Beautiful isn't it..how He moves in our lives and hearts.
    I've always felt that this blog of yours, was His.
    I hear you Becky...there IS a war and even though sometimes I want to just lay down and cry over situations (and I do) and issues...He is moving me to ...fight..this day we fight. We all let down our swords sometimes, but it's time to pick it back up..and FIGHT.
    Hugs and love to you dear friend xoxo

    All my heart,
    Deborah xoxoxo

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  12. This: "I don't carry my Bible with me everywhere I go...not that that's a bad thing. I'm just normal. Just like you."

    really got me thinking.

    Why don't I carry my Bible around more? Toting it to church and Connection Group each weekend {in a cute Jeanne Oliver bag!} isn't good enough. I usually always have a Christian fiction book with me. Why have I not traded out fiction for Truth? How much more joy would I have if I read and poured myself into His Word the way I do fiction books? Sure, I have learned some Truth in a way that I can apply to myself from the fiction books. But I think I have a change I will try to implement now.

    {And keep sharing truth on your blog. I love it!}

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  13. This is lovely. Your heart is lovely. I love where your blog is headed. I'm so glad I found you recently!
    Blessing & love to you today,
    Clara

    shepresents.com

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  14. God is honored by your heart and your actions in His direction. The Word promises that when we draw closer to Him, He draws closer to us. He has given you such wonderful creativity. I've found that sometimes the creativity takes a back seat, though, to spending quiet time. These have turned out to be the most precious times. A wonderful post, Becky. All is well.

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  15. Becky, I've been reading your blog for years! It seems like it was one VERY gloomy January when I started. You have inspired me ever since. :) Whatever is going on in your soul, we'll listen. It's why I have kept coming back for so long. And you know, however connected to God you are, I'm glad to see it comes out here! We need each other....Keep pressing in!

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  16. Writing the fluff is easy.
    What you're doing is obedience.
    Thank you for hearing His voice and writing His words to us.
    You're an inspiration and He's accomplishing great things through you.
    Blessings to you sistah!

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  17. Oh how I love this brave, honest post.

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  18. No matter what you write/blog about...there is an honesty, a realness to your posts, Becky, that keeps me coming back. I always find something of meaning here and that is your gift. You know how you sign off with "Be a blessing"...you are:)

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  19. Becky, I love this identity crisis. It is real and honest and what drew me to your blog in the first place.

    I'm right there with you, sister, in this battle. I am so comforted this week by the truth that He is fighting and Satan will not and can not win.

    I feel so "done" this week and really just want to crawl back in bed all day. The gloomy weather does that to me too but when I fell, I just felt "done".

    It has been a strong week of me allowing the Body to hold me up. Friends have spoken truth and scripture to me like no other time in my life.

    That's what you do too. Even little IG photos like this morning are so encouraging. We all need it.

    Thank you.

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  20. you've got to honour where you are right now. It's real and you are doing okay! Heather x

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  21. keep shining the light sweet becky! you are an inspiration to many people! HUGS!!

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  22. i love your blog snd the way you share truth here. You made me cry today reading this....family issues of my own and not with my hubby and children but with other members who want so much control. Talk about seeing the enemy working and it's tearing me up inside. Scary stuff to see evil at work. I've grown so much in my faith through this though. Jesus has been my guide and has made things so clear, it's scared me a little. Love you and your blog.
    Hugs,
    Valerie

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  23. I am pretty sure you won't have to lose anything because of talking about Jesus. At least I hope not.
    One of my favorite blog friends is an atheist. She doesn't like when I talk about Jesus at all. But you know, she keeps coming back again and again : ). I read this the other day, and I loved it so much!

    When I say, “I am a Christian”
    I’m not shouting, “I’ve been saved!”
    I’m whispering, “I get lost!
    That’s why I chose this way”

    When I say, “I am a Christian”
    I don’t speak with human pride
    I’m confessing that I stumble -
    needing God to be my guide

    When I say, “I am a Christian”
    I’m not trying to be strong
    I’m professing that I’m weak
    and pray for strength to carry on

    When I say, “I am a Christian”
    I’m not bragging of success
    I’m admitting that I’ve failed
    and cannot ever pay the debt

    When I say, “I am a Christian”
    I don’t think I know it all
    I submit to my confusion
    asking humbly to be taught

    When I say, “I am a Christian”
    I’m not claiming to be perfect
    My flaws are far too visible
    but God believes I’m worth it

    When I say, “I am a Christian”
    I still feel the sting of pain
    I have my share of heartache
    which is why I seek God’s name

    When I say, “I am a Christian”
    I do not wish to judge
    I have no authority
    I only know I’m loved

    Copyright 1988 Carol Wimmer

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    Replies
    1. Oh Becky (both of you!) this is awesome. I love this poem, and I love the words of this post.

      So true! So right on! So needed to hear and to be said.

      Blessings on both of you.

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  24. Amen to allowing your blog to be His! He should have control over EVERY area of our lives, if only we'd let Him! ;) I have noticed a shift in your blog - being more about faith and the Lord lately - and that's great!! I pray in does spill into your everyday, outside of the blog! I know it's not easy and can be hard but He is so glorified when we do and we are so blessed becuase of it! :D ♥

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  25. Thank you thank you thank you for sharing. I am going through a bit of this myself. But, we have power over the evil one because we have JESUS!
    I look forward to reading more about what Jesus is doing in your life.

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  26. I love reading blogs written by people who love Jesus. I have given up many blogs that don't honor Him. Thanks for your honesty today. What a gift to read your beautiful words!

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  27. I've felt the same pull,
    although I'm not as
    religious as you are.
    My blog has evolved
    into deeper stuff than
    where I started. I saw
    Him in your words a
    long time ago, even
    when He was wrapped
    in lighter topics. You've
    just stripped it down,
    I think. I admire and
    love you for that. You
    have the courage!

    xo Suzanne

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  28. My first time to comment...I just had to. I love this post, and your heart. You are an inspiration, which is why I keep coming back. Thanks for being "real" and letting God have His way with your blog. Blessings!

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  29. yes and yes and amen a million times.
    it's ALL His.
    every little bit.
    xoxo

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  30. Amen. Love seeing Jesus shine through you in your posts.

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  31. I like your/His space. I feel connected and refreshed when I visit. I love the raw you. I love feeling Him through your words. Most of all, I love that you blog for Him and us. It's not about the comments or selling ads. It's friendships and I adore your/His space. I know we have never chatted nor met but I feel welcomed and renewed here. Thank you and Amen!

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  32. I'm glad you're going deeper. I stay deep and only five or so people read it, and that's ok. It will matter to my kids someday.

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  33. couldn't agree more! it's His space. and it's a freeing thing to give up worrying over numbers, isn't it?? we have One audience to worry about.

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  34. If you don't stand for something you stand for nothing. Thank you for standing for Jesus.

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  35. Bravo, Becky! Your struggles and honesty keep me coming back. You can't throw too much Jesus in here for me :) This Richmond weather is enough to bring anyone down, and it makes me sympathetic to those who live in less sunny states.

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  36. Amen, Becky! I am so proud of you for coming forward and sharing what the Lord has done in your life and what He has put on your heart. I am in the same boat in my blog...and have actually just not posted and have backed away for some time...just to reevaluate what His purpose is in it. Praying for you and your family!

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  37. I like it that your blog reflect you in each life stage.

    I am studying Nehemiah right now and reminded of what my dad used to say from this book. When we say like,Nehemiah did, "I will arise and build.", the enemy says, "I will arise and oppose."

    My favorite verse so far is that Nehemiah gets to Jerusalem and tells them they are going to rebuild the wall, he sees that they are scared. His response, "Do not be afraid, remember your great and awesome God and fight for your brothers and sisters." Love this.

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  38. I think it is wonderful that you are doing what feels real and true. It is great that you aren't feeling the need to do what you think someone else wants!!
    xoxo
    Ashlyn

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  39. I'm right there with you girl! Like in the exact. same. spot. It's like you spoke what's in my brain! God must be up to something. And that stinkin oppression! ugh! Today I was just thinking how wonderful heaven will be when we don't have to face that beast any longer! love you lots and lots and lots and lots!

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  40. I've read your blog for years but I rarely comment.
    God leads you. There's no two ways about it. I've lost count of how many times God has used you to touch my heart and I've not even said 'thank you' or offered encouragement. But THANK YOU. I cherish you.

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  41. You must be doing something wonderfully right as I've been coming here recently for inspiration despite the fact that God and I aren't on speaking terms....

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  42. Do it! I often struggle with my posts whether it be blog or Facebook when it comes to talking about my faith. Not because I don't believe, but I don't want to sound preachy or insincere. I love your posts in which you share your faith. They are encouraging and inspiring.

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  43. Thank you.
    You were an encouragement to me today.
    D xo

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  44. Becky, You are exactly where you should be . . . God has you on a mission girl! :O)

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  45. You're doing exactly what He's called you to do. Just surrender and know that all is good and we love your posts! I don't comment each time but I read and something always touches my heart. You have a ministry with this blog! The world we live in now is far from God I think and those of us with faith in Him need to hang together.

    Have you read "The Harbinger"? If not, do! An amazing book and reflects our world today.

    As always, thanks for sharing!
    xo
    Pat

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  46. What a great, inspiring post! I'm always blessed when I stop by, just keep on keeping on my dear! Blessings!

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  47. I love your blog and the way He leads you to write. He is working through you, Becky!

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  48. Plain and simple- this IS why I follow your blog!

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  49. I LOVE the Jesus in you. HE is beautiful! Surrender is suh-weet and your vulnerability gives way to the aroma of Christ. Be encouraged.

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  50. THIS is why I follow your blog and read your posts every morning! If you can feel so close to people by reading their thoughts expressed into written words...just THINK what Heaven will be like!!

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  51. Your honesty, complete faith and gift with words is why I am here. Love this post!

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  52. I wandered over here through Spunbyme's blog. This is a very beautiful blog post and almost exactly how I've been feeling for months. Sometimes it's when we try the least we gain the most. I hope you continue to be content with the things you post and that they will be an encouragement to people. Even if you lose followers, I'm sure it will all even out in the end. God bless.

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  53. You are loved, appreciated and blessed....thank you for your blog and posts.

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  54. A wonderful post....it is all about him...whatever we do...we should do as unto him. Glad I found you...Marie at Spun by me...directed me over....blessings

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  55. I am reminded of the book "This Present Darkness". It had such an impact on me as a newly professed Christian and my learning from that book has made life easier for me b/c I KNOW that Satan wants to destroy anything that is good. And...when I know it is him at work, I call to our savior for power and discernment and Jesus wins EVERY time.

    I love this blog: I love your honesty mixed in with your art mixed in with your love for our Lord. It’s perfect just as it is. :)

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  56. I am reminded of the book "This Present Darkness". It had such an impact on me as a newly professed Christian and my learning from that book has made life easier for me b/c I KNOW that Satan wants to destroy anything that is good. And...when I know it is him at work, I call to our savior for power and discernment and Jesus wins EVERY time.

    I love this blog: I love your honesty mixed in with your art mixed in with your love for our Lord. It’s perfect just as it is. :)

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  57. I wasa just thinking I have seen a difference in your outspoken testimony in the last year. I have been praying about my blog. I am just not sure blogging is what God wants from me. I am just coasting and listening. I love this friend. I love you.

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  58. Ha ha. I check out your blog every once in a while. On my second last blog I have a picture of this exact same cup which my daughter-in-law, Kaitlin (http://www.homemakerdesign.ca)gave me.

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  59. Becky, I discovered your blog in recent days. I was moved to tears by this post. Thanks for being vulnerable and couragous. I am preparing to start a blog, and it is encouraging to see a Christain woman move into a truly authentic place and open her heart to those of us looking in at your life. It helps strengthen my own resolve not compartmentalize, but to integrate my faith in all my daily doings.

    Peace and hope, Julie

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  60. Well you know I have been here forever and fell in love with you for you ~ the way you love your family ~ and your faith. You can't lose me girlie! I have given 2 people your link for the cuffs once your shop opens again. Happy weekend. xo

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  61. I've been reading your blog for a while and love it because it's not fluffy. Your love for the LORD shows through you and your words never fail to touch my heart. I love that you want it to be for Him - seems like it totally is. Thanks for being so real and sharing your heart with us. Your blog is lovely, just like you!!

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  62. I have always loved your blog so much. You are so genuine and bold in your faith and love for God. ♥

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  63. AMEN!!! Love you Becky, love your love for God. I'm right here with you.

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  64. Wow, where to begin with this one. I said to hubby yesturday, just as we hung up from his mother and found out that his dad is now in hospital, what has God got planned for us. He looked at me and said that's deep!!!! We aren't religious people and I have struggled with this for many years myself because I have been wanting to know why, I went to sunday school, we went to church as children, I went to a religious school and sang hymns and every wednesday we went to chapel. I sent my children to a religious school. But we do not practise this in the home. But I said to hubby that I have been praying ever since his accident because I needed God to answer many of my prayers. Actually I have been praying ever since I watched my mother die. I do believe there is something. I'm not quite sure where I am going with this and why I am telling you this but maybe I just want to say that I get you, from the bottom of my heart and I feel connected - so strange. I pray that some day we get to share a coffee!!!!!

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  65. THIS is exactly what pulled me in to your blog, sweet Becky. God wanted me to get to know you because you're real. Because you're not afraid to declare that you're HIS. Because you share what He places in your heart. Because your soul is bright, fresh, and blooming in HIM. Oh, how I adore you, girlie....and I'm so very blessed to call you friend and sister-in-Christ!!! ♥

    xoxo laurie

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  66. hey becky, this is a beautiful post. i strongly encourage you to look into a filter. i've heard soem disgusting stories lately and we don't allow kids on the internet on those devices on our home because of it. Bsecure is a great one to look into!

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  68. Beautiful post Becky - it touched my heart. I know God will continue to direct you through this time of struggle. I think the enemy senses (he is NOT all knowing - that's God's attribute alone) that his time is very limited and he's in an all-out last-stand kinda battle - because he does NOT know when, but he does know he will be defeated - already has been in fact. At the cross. It's just a matter of time. God is on His throne - He reigns in righteousness, and He's with us on this journey - He knows the end, when He gather's to Himself that last searching soul. Perhaps you will be the one to plant a seed, water a seedling or witness the bloom of faith in that last person drawn into the everlasting arms by faith. Keep on blogging - God will use it for His glory!

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  69. I love your heart and your blog....
    love that you write honestly about your faith journey.

    i know that i never leave your blog after reading it thinking, "she's too serious."

    it's weird to read someone's blog WHO YOU HAVE NEVER MET and KNOW that you'd be friends in real life. I feel that way with you.

    i think i relate to you because i'm all about having a good time and laughing with family and friends BUT i go introspective every single day of my life about something. is it possible to be a feeler and a thinker? :)

    happy sunday, friend. praying for you on your fast.

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  70. you are a good soul. I always enjoy my visits to your beautiful blog, God Bless xo

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  71. Awesome!
    You are precious... and loved!
    ;)

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  72. I think it's a beautiful thing when the shift happens. I've noticed it a bit here...and have loved it. I know exactly what you mean when you say the words aren't your own. I often write out of obedience and by faith...not knowing who the words are meant to touch, but trusting that God knows. I may or may not hear from that person, but I pray that God does. I still write "fluff" from time to time. But my heart can't stay out of the deep for long. Blessings to you from a girl who gets you today.

    xo,
    Linsey

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  73. You can see your maturity as a blogger grow! The new bloggers are full of fluff...its natural! But...time grows and the Lord pushes you with the clock. You are feeling growing pains...be strong...The LORD is very near with you. Your coffee mug is beautiful inside and out...literally♥
    Laurie

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  74. Such an encouraging post, Becky. It is a gift to know that it's all his. I'm still learning this lesson (I'm hard-headed). You bless a great many people with your words and your pictures too. Thank you for sharing all of that with us. :)

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  75. I stopped {finally} trying to get noticed in all ways a few months ago, BUT I've been begging for it to go away and get out of me for a lifetime.

    It feels so good. It's so liberating and so much freedom! It's all rubbish if it's not meaningful. If we can't take it with us when we die, it's rubbish, pointless, worldly ugly stuff.

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  77. I swear that I tried to post something this morning. Ok, round 2. Let's give it another shot. My dad has been in the program for 30 years. I've learned a few things from the program along the way:

    1) Let Go and Let God
    2) One Day at a time

    Those items are faith based and lead me through my daily life. God knows. We need to lift up our worries to him and let them go. God will be there to catch us, even if we are too close at the time to see him, to feel him.

    Becky, this is a beautiful post my dear.

    xo

    Jennifer (aka Happythis)

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  78. Love this...have you ever seen Ann Voskamp's 'Upside Down Blogger's Prayer'? So fitting....you'll have to check it out:

    http://www.aholyexperience.com/2010/10/a-bloggers-prayer-upside-down-kingdom-blogging/

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  79. I found you by typing in names I was thinking of trying for my new blog. It's so funny b/c I have struggled with these very same thoughts with my blog. I just had my 40th b-day and have been praying about what God wants from me for my life...evaluating my priorities, my goals. This post was so helpful and needed. Thank you.

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Thanks for taking a minute to share your thoughts. I love hearing what YOU have to say:)

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